Let Me Know

Chapter 1

Hwa clears her throat brining me back from my ideas "What do you want?" I ask sounding harsher than I intended but I am not in the mood to deal with her right now.

"Nothing" She says shrugging her shoulders and making her way deeper into my room. She doesn't ask for permission and I guess having the key is permission enough.

"Why are you here?" I ask watching her every move as she places the tray on my bedside table. I know I am not in a good mood but seeing her makes it worse. She looks so polish and put together that it annoys me. So different from how I feel right now. I have to admit in the past I have found her perfectionist personality and her sense of style very appealing but today it makes me angry. Her simple white t-shirt tucked into a long beige pleaded skirt is the definition of business casual and it reminds me that everyone else's life has continued. She got up this morning and dressed to head to her job as BTS's main assistant. She probably had meetings all day and had her usual lunch consisting of rice, fried egg and yogurt. She probably watched her favorite k-drama while she checked our social media. She chewed on the end of her chopsticks when something interesting happened while she watched. She probably took her shoes off in the practice room and sat on the floor with her laptop and worked on new projects that are not due any time soon. Her day was one of many but mine has been hell and I dont need her here to remind me.

"I figured you didn't eat yesterday or the day before so I made you some of your favorites" she says looking everywhere but at me. I know how intimidating I can be and I usually try to dial it down but I don't care today.

"How do you know I didn't eat?" I ask feeling the need to sit up.

"I was here yesterday and the day before. Both times you were asleep so I didn't wake you" She says and I can feel hesitation in her words. "I brought food both times and put them in your fridge with a note of how to heat it up but when I looked again I saw you had not touched any of the food" learning that she has been inside my house twice without me knowing should upset me but seeing how she backs away in what I think is fear helps me calm down.

"Thank you" I say letting a big breath out in an attempt to calm my anger a little more. "I appreciate you taking all this time to make me food but I am not hungry"

"No thank you needed" she says and a warm smile breaks the stiffness of her face.

"its your job right" I roll my eyes finishing her usual sentence.

"Yes" she says and when I look at her face I can see a small glimpse of pain.

"I will try to eat some later" regret settles in my stomach. I wanted to hurt her with my words because of how hurt I feel but I was not expecting to feel this way after. I know what's happening with me is not her fault. She has nothing to do with this but I still want to take it out on someone and she is just the closest person. I look away from her not wanting to see my damage but something makes me look back. I hear a ring and I watch as she checks her phone.

"I have to go. I do hope you eat something" she says avoiding my face again. Before I can say a word or do anything she walks out of my room the same way she came in. I curse myself for the way I behaved and I finally find a reason to get up from this bed. I might not like her but I have to admit that I need to apologize to Hwa. I chase her to the living room and I watch as she picks up the call and stands in front of my front door as she listens to the person in the other line. While she stands there I look around me to notice my apartment looks like the cleaning service has stopped by but it's the weekend. I also notice my fresh laundry on one of the sofas and I regret my stupid words even more now.