If Only

Chapter 23- Life Goes On

We pull up to my house and I can already feel the tension. With my brother back at college and me at Darion's, it's only Heather and Matthew in the house. Obviously, with tension thick in the air, which isn't a worthy combination. I look over and note Darion's face and body. Both tense, his body strained, his grip tight on the steering wheel. His face is covered with rage and disgust. I can tell he hates being here but I mean, it's his fault right? He is the one that insisted on coming after all. Though, I guess he has good reason to.

"Come on." I tap him, his body instantly softening under my touch. He makes a small nodding gesture and gets out of the car at the same time that I do. My legs feel as if they will give out any second, my mind flooded with ideas of what could happen when I walk through this door I'm now approaching. I take a deep breath, reaching for Darion's hand. He squeezes my hand, a sign that everything will be okay. I take a final breath, my hand hovering over the door knob. It feels oddly familiar, standing here with tension in the air and my hand over the door knob. The fear too. The fear of entering the house where my birth-givers live. I look to Darion for reassurance. He nods, solace in his eyes. I exhale, my fingertips lowering to the cold door knob. I turn it slowly, push the door open with slight force, and step in, making sure to keep Darion as close as possible. No one seems to have heard me so I click the door closed behind me and begin to wander through the house and to the stairs. I manage to get all the way up to them and stop. No wonder no one came rushing at me when I stepped through the door. They're both up here. In fact, they're both in my room.

I peek through the opening in the door and see them shoving thing after thing into clear trash bags.

"What're you doing?" I ask, my voice stern and loud.

"Ah, Fleur. Nice of you to finally return, but alas, you're no longer an attendant here so we're packing your things." my mother speaks strangely, almost comically, as if she thinks this is funny.

"Excuse me?"

"We're kicking you out, silly, what else would we be doing? Oh, and I see you brought company. A boy, how surprising." she rolls her eyes and shoves more stuff into bags.

"Are you pregnant yet?" Matthew smirks.

"What?! No! Are you crazy?!" I yell. Darion's grip tightens and I can tell it's taking everything in him to not attack either one of them.

"Well I just assumed, since you do a lot of interesting things, that you've done the deed darling."

"Don't call me darling. And no, I haven't." I lie. I have had sex, a lot. But I was drunk each time so did it really count? I'd like to think not. Virginity should be given, not taken. 

"Hard to believe."

"Whatever. Just give me my stuff." I respond, not daring to let go of Darion's hand. Heather whispers something to Matthew before stepping out. I ask Darion to help me finish packing the clothes from my closet to which he agrees, grabbing a half-filled bag and heading over. I finish packing things like my deodorant and hairbrush. Matthew remains in the room. I can feel his eyes trained on me. I can see him smirk in the vanity mirror as he straightens. He begins to walk over to me and I believe that he's just leaving the room but my body freezes up when I feel his hand swipe along part of my body that no one's dad should touch. Darion apparently sees this too, presumably in the full length mirror next to my closet. His feet are instantly moving and he has my father pinned to the wall within seconds. His hand goes for his pocket where he pulls out a switchblade and presses it against his neck. I hadn't realized it before, being that Darion and Matthew have never stood together, but Darion's as tall, if not taller, than Matthew. And I'm not sure why but I find it humorous that, for once in my life, I see true fear in Matthew's eyes.

"Touch her ever again, or even talk to her or come near her ever again and I'll slit your throat without a second thought." Darion hisses, his eyes burning with fiery rage. He puts the blade back in his pocket and demands me to get any bags I want or need to take with me. I obey, grabbing the bag of clothes and my hygiene products. Darion and I begin to leave when my father whispers something under his breath. While inaudible to me, Darion must've heard it because he whirls around and lands a punch right to Matthew's jaw which sends him flying to the ground. Something I've learned for future fights-- the body follows the head.

He slams the door as he gets into the car. I sit, curled into myself. He pulls away without hesitation or direction.

"We're going the wrong way." I acknowledge.

"I know. I just wanna take a different route." he replies. I nod. Instantly hearing the anger in his voice.

"Thank you." I say

"For what?"

"Earlier."

"It wouldn't have happened if you had just listened to me and not gone."

"I was just trying to thank you."

"I know, I'm sorry." Darion exhales and reaches to take my hand. We finally pull up to his house where we get out, grab my bags, and head inside to see Janet and Arlo waiting on the couch. Darion sends me with the bags and says I can stay in his room. I hear him explaining things though I can't depict exactly what's being said. I decide, once I get to his room, to simply relax on his bed. I throw my stuff into a pile in the corner of the room and lie back, limbs outstretched, on the bed. I stare at the blank ceiling and begin to feel bored.

"This place needs some new decor." I say out loud. Darion walks through the door a few seconds later.

"We should go thrift shopping. Oh, and buy tapestries to hang up. It'd be such an aesthetic." I comment.

"Mmm, tomorrow. I wanna cuddle right now." he smiles and lies on top of me, his head in my chest.

"Don't fall asleep silly. We have to go to dinner later. Right?" I ruffled his hair.

"Mmm, I know." he replies. We lay there for a while longer, him buried in my chest with me rubbing his hair.

So much for not falling asleep.

A few minutes later, Darion is passed out on my chest, as calm as I've ever seen him. I hold him close, staring blankly at the ceiling. His mom walks in after a while.

"Oh? Sorry! I just came to tell you guys about dinner! Unless you want to postpone it?" Janet asks.

"Oh, don't worry. I'll wake him up." I whisper. She smiles and nods, closing the door behind her. I shift, sitting up. Darion groans and flops over.

"Wake up sleepyhead." I whisper, pecking his temple.

"Leave me alone." he mumbles.

"We're getting dinner." I respond. His eyes fly open.

"Food?" he sits up, rubbing his eyes.

"Food." I nod. He stands and stretches, yawning.

"Come on, let's change and get food!" He pulls on my arms. We go through the bags of my clothes, deciding that I should wear a turquoise empire-cut dress without sleeves and has halter ties around my neck. He grabs an already planned outfit, a white button up dress shirt with a turquoise and black diagonally striped tie and black dress pants from a chair and goes to change in the bathroom. I feel happy for once, that's something new. Darion whispers words of encouragement and praise in my ear as we sit in the back of his parent's car on our way to eat. We end up eating at Maggiano's where I order fettuccine alfredo. I rate it a five out of five stars, amazing. We go out on the town to shop, hitting up various stores that spark our interests.

We arrive home around midnight, laughing and genuinely happy. Janet says she's going to take a bath to which Arlo follows. Darion and I bid them goodnight and head up the stairs. Darion breaks off to the bathroom, me heading to the bedroom. I peel off the dress and throw on sweatpants and a hoodie. I feel like a sloth as I climb into bed and under the sheets. I hear Darion come in after a while and feel him slide into the sheets next to me. We snuggle into each other and it doesn't get any better. Sleep comes fast, and away into the night I go.