Throughout the following week, I lose my mind. Darion avoids me-- or maybe I'm avoiding him. I fall asleep in class almost everyday, Reuben and Nadia have collectively decided to ignore me, and I get shoved into a bathroom stall and laughed at least three times. I don't go home, instead heading to party after party, night after night. I get drunk, I smoke, I go home with random guys. I'm a mess, my mind has gone haywire, but I forget. I forget what Bryon did. I forget what the boy at the party did. I forget what I did. Until Darion decides to bring it up.
"I hear you've been the life of the party for the last couple of days." he mentions. I'm on the roof, standing on the ledge while clinging to the fence, staring out over the edge.
"Have you?" I turn and jump down, leaning back against the ledge and fence.
"I have." he responds. It's silent between us. I'm not quite sure how to start a conversation with someone I kissed and then didn't talk to for a week.
"Steven's throwing another party tonight. I'm assuming you're going?" he asks.
"Why wouldn't I? It's all I'm good at. Partying that is." I answer. Once again, awkward silence.
"God Fleur. I can't do this. I can't ignore you. This past week has been a nightmare. I haven't seen you at all so I have no clue where you go at night. I just--"
"I'm sorry." I interrupt, hugging him tightly, forgiving him all too quickly. Or rather, forgiving myself for all that I've done to him.
"Me too." He hugs me back so tight I think I might pop like a balloon.
"I'm still going to that party." I say.
"Let me come with you then. Please." Darion begs.
"Fine." I answer. He pulls away, smiling like a kid in a candy shop. "You should get to class."
He hesitates for a second before he says "I'm gonna kiss you." I'm astonished. Never in my life did I ever think that I would be getting kissed by the number one football player at our school. His lips are warm and gentle, nothing like the boy at the party or Bryon. No. Darion's kisses are gentle and smooth, careful. As if he wants to assure that I'm okay with it. He smiles and walks away without another word. I lean back, the cool air ruffling my hair. I'm so zoned out that I don't notice Aiden running at me until it's too late and I'm on the ground with her on top of me. I laugh.
"Hey, I just passed Darion on the stairs. I was gonna ask what he was doing up here but based on your red face, I think I know." she smirks before offering her hand to help me up. I take it and huff as I stand.
"Whatever you want to think." I roll my eyes, glancing in her direction. I expect to see her smile, bright and filling but I'm met by a face of worry, of guilt, of sadness.
"Hey, are you okay?" I ask her.
"Hm? No. Oh, yeah. I mean, no, but yeah." she stutters.
"What's wrong? And don't say nothing." I pressure her. I genuinely don't expect her to answer but to my surprise, she drops down and brings her knees to her chest.
"I can't do it anymore Fleur. I can't. I'm so numb yet so pained but simply living."
"How does one live in pain while being numb?" I respond.
"I don't know, I ask the same questions every stupid day! Don't you think I've tried to answer that Fleur? Cause I have! And let me tell you, the answer isn't clear!" she begins to break down. "It's so, so stupid but it stomps all over my will to live Fleur! They do it everyday and I hate it! I hate it! I hate it!" tears fly down her cheeks. I stare, astonished. She's always seemed so strong to me, but was it all pretend? Gosh, I have never been good with feelings.
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If Only
Teen FictionCOMPLETED: You know how they say high school is going to be the best years of your life? Yeah well, that's a fucking lie being said directly to your face. Fleur Hazel Moss found that out the hard way. She always believed it would be great, but the t...
