If Only

Chapter 3- Barbie Dresses and Nadia

"Whoa. You're bleeding. I didn't do that, did I?" the person asks. I look up. It's a tall football player with electric blue eyes and jet black hair. His jersey has a big number 1 on it. I stand up and he grabs my wrist. "That wasn't me, right?" he asks again.

"No! No it wasn't! Now let go of me!" I yell through a shaky voice as I jerk away. I spin and take off towards the end of the west wing where the nurse's office is. I can feel their eyes on me. The football players, watching me run, bloodied and tear-ridden. Their laughs haunt me as I slow down. I stare at the nurse's door. It has little animals and hearts decorating it. I knock on the door. The nurse, Mr. Florence, waves me inside. I take a seat on the very uncomfortable chair, watching Mr. Florence as he grabs an ice pack and a tissue. The ice pack. The ultimate savior in the school nursing world. I wipe my bloodied face and hold the tissue up to my nostril. I use the other hand to hold the ice pack against the bridge of my nose.

"I simply cannot fathom how one person can hurt themselves this bad." he comments, washing his hands. I shrug. "Well, Fleur, you can't stay here for the entire day, you'll have to go back and change. If you need anything, feel free to come back" he smiles. I nod my head and wave, my ice pack clutched between three fingers. I walk slowly, like a turtle stuck in peanut butter slow. I know I have to go back to class. I have to walk through the group of football players. I'll have to walk into the locker room with all the girls. They'll laugh at me. They'll steal my clothes. I'll embarrass myself.

I'm spiraling, overthinking. And I know I am. But it's better to overthink and come up with every possibility, no matter how bad, then to not think at all and therefore not be prepared. I stare at the ground, ashamed. How is it that one person, that person being me, can hurt themselves so much within the same half an hour?

"How'd you hurt yourself this time?" someone says behind me. I glance back to see Reuben's girlfriend, one of my closest friends for the past twelve years, Nadia coming up behind me. She pokes at my nose where the bruise a now forming. I flinch away.

"Basketball." I mumble, uninterested. She nods.

"I would say I'm surprised but honestly, I'm not. You're very clumsy, you know that." she comments. I playfully punched her side, causing her to push me into the wall with her shoulder. We laugh, apparently too loud because some random teacher pokes their head into the hallway and yells for us to be quiet. We muffle our laughs and continue on.

"So, what is this?" I ask, poking the box she's carrying.

"Have to bring this to Ms. Marci. Apparently, according to Mr. Theo, I'm the least eager kid in the class and bringing a box to someone on the other side of the school should peak my eagerness to learn." she rolls her eyes. I laugh. Mr. Theo, the French teacher, was very passionate about speaking French and anything to do with French culture. Like, beyond the normal amount of passion. And if there was any kid in his class that wasn't interested in speaking French, say they joined because they had to, they had to do some sort of deed for him, in hopes of discovering their passion for the French language and culture along the way. It makes no sense but then again, I'm not the one teaching so how would I know what works and what doesn't.

We come to the middle of the school, the common area. It's empty given the exception of a few kids rushing to get to their class or simply walking around and skipping class. I look around, almost overwhelmed by the preeminence of it all just as I was when I got a tour of this place in middle school. The grand staircases leading to the second floor and some even all the way up to the third and fourth floors, each floor being for a separate grade, a few acceptances thrown in of course. The massive windows, basking the area in direct sunlight from all angles. The intricately carved statues and benches. The marbled floor that was only present in the common area and cafeteria, the rest of the school being floored with carpeting. It was stunning. You would've thought that the students of Corveiw High were royalty. Except, that's not really true. As far as I know, everyone including myself are more towards the middle class and lower middle class. In fact, the school itself didn't even pay for this. This school was remodeled about seven or eight years ago after some rich man came here and decided to spend his money on us. Now quite sure why, I was only seven at the time so chances are I wasn't thinking about highschool, I was thinking about what dress, pink or purple, I should put on Barbie when she goes on her date with Ken. By the way, purple is the way to go.