Never Have I Ever

Twenty-Fifth Shot

Kari

Teka lang, anong nangyari? We didn't sleep together, did we?

When I flickered my eyes open, I saw Calix–ang gwapo punyeta–sleeping beside me with my cheek on his firm hairless white chest while my other hand was on top of his abs–ay gago–while one of his was placed around my waist, resting there as if it was his spot.

Putik, Karina Louise, anong kagagahan 'to? How am I in the same position again with this guy, after a week since I last saw him? How was that even possible?

Ok, kalma muna tayo. Try to remember and think about what really did happen. As far as my recollection goes, he suddenly appeared in front of me when I left the inn. Nakakataka but I didn't think much of it since the world might be smaller than I think it is and yes, coincidences do happen.

I remembered that we dropped by 7-Eleven for some dinner and moments after that, we went to one of my usual go-to clubs whenever I visit NYC. Not even minutes later, I started drinking. Well, I drank a whole lot and couldn't stop myself because I wanted to let loose a little. Nasobrahan nga lang.

Then, I somehow recall that I told Calix certain things about me because this guy turns me into a chatterbox when I least expect it. Even if I'm not the type to easily open up to people, especially around strangers except Grandma Cupid when we first met, there's just something about him that heightens my tendency to overshare.

This is exactly why I was greatly relieved that we didn't see each other anymore since I can stop him from easily shattering my defenses. But how come, all my efforts to get away from him were all for nothing? Ba't ba hindi kami ipaghiwalay ng landas?

After I finished swigging beers down my throat, more than I could ever keep track of, I somehow got bits and pieces of memories in my head that we went to the dancefloor. Not entirely sure but did I imagine the part where he hugged me tight when people were starting to make out really quick? Hindi naman sa kinilig ako pero gusto ko lang talagang malaman.

Fast forward to that, I vaguely remember that Calix took me to this penthouse that had a vast collection of liquors that would be nirvana to all alcoholics. The next thing I knew, I think—kung tama ba talaga 'tong nasa isip ko—we made out on the wooden floor with a bunch of old wines around us. And the flashback pretty much ends from there.

Shuta, did I possibly forget something else important? This is exactly why I chose to not drink a lot since I tend to act without thinking amidst the fact that He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named didn't allow me to drink since it was 'unladylike' to do so.

I also have the inclination to get really wild when the alcohol kicks into my system and according to people I've been hanging out with, I become a kissing maniac when that happens so I chose to be wary of how much I consume. The worst part of it all is that I usually forget everything the next day as if nothing happened.

But I don't why, with the thought that Calix was there with me, I felt complacent with drinking until I blacked out. It's something that I've never done with anyone before, neither my friends nor my cheating ex. I also liked pouring out all my thoughts to him, if he was even paying attention, without holding back.

However, sleeping together again is a whole different issue. Just thinking about the possibility that we really did do it–even if I said I don't sleep with the same person twice tangina–made my stomach twist and turn, like clothes being spun in a washing machine. Ewan ko ba kung kaba ba 'to o gutom lang.

What's even more exasperating is my head is like it's being split into a million pieces and my stomach's growling like it's been starved all her life. Pero bahala na nga, kailangan ko ng umalis!