High C

6. Old Maid

In one of the less formal meeting rooms of a downtown Marriott, DeeDee had settled into a comfortable space next to Mrs. Liang, her preferred company at any of the hospital's VIP charity functions. Mrs. Liang was an expert in dim-sum, and she was only too happy to let DeeDee talk her ear off about dumplings. At 91, she was not only the most interesting woman in the room, but also the perfect excuse to stay seated the entire luncheon and not have to mingle after initial hellos.

They got to talking about a restaurant doing a vegan dim-sum brunch on Sundays. Mrs. Liang nodded about hearts of palm in place of pork as the back of her shellacked, dyed black hair moved up and down against the wall in one piece. She was showing DeeDee how to pack and shape a particular dumpling with what might appear, out of context, a very obscene gesture. Naturally, DeeDee asked her to repeat the action when she noticed her mother trying to get her attention. Finally, Alexis had to interrupt and make excuses for stealing her daughter away.

"What? DeeDee snickered innocently.

"I'm saving you," her mother said.

"Saving me? I love Mrs. Liang."

"I'm saving you from yourself. You and your sister are going to be in charge of things once your father and I retire – "

"Daddy will never retire."

"Doesn't matter. People have no attention spans anymore. You have to mix in, stay fresh in their minds."

"I've known these people forever. Only the last names change."

"Those are the ex-wives. You've got keep up with the new ones."

"Look, I've said hello to everyone, buzzed around for a bit. No new business means off to the corner I go. Besides, all anyone wants to talk about is Kath Winters' new book."

"What new book?"

"HA!"

"What new book??"

"She's written a marriage rule book for twenty year olds and everyone's living to hate it! It's full of stuff like you need to freeze your eggs in college, and up until twenty-seven you should only consider marriages that will be financially beneficial because most first marriages end in divorce and your youth should be worth something. She's got a self-appraisal tool and everything. DNA tests are no longer just for finding lost cousins."

"That's the stupidest thing I ever heard."

"Really? I thought you'd want that embroidered on a cushion."

"I mean, who'd pay for a book to tell them something they already know? What does she say happens after twenty-seven?"

"Why don't you mix in and find out?"

"I know I always say it, but if I had married for love alone, you and your sister would be working for your father's food truck with limp hair and faces only a mother could love."

"Pedro?"

"He used to make me these little hand pies in the shape of a heart. Said the secret was love and lard. But he had no ambition. I need things. I'm not afraid to admit it. It was feast or famine growing up and I did not like the famine parts."

"You loved Daddy."

"Yes, I did, but the money helped. And I was his second wife at twenty-five as you well know."

DeeDee only nodded at the words she thought her mother might also want on a cross stitch sampler.

"She says after twenty-seven you give up on marriage for a bit while you make your own money so that you can marry by thirty-six for whatever reason floats your boat. Thirty-six is apparently the last year you can date someone your own age. After that, you have to be a second wife with an older husband."