Playing the Game

4. If You're Not Early, You're Late

I take a deep breath and clear my throat before sliding my thumb across the screen.

"Hey, Ben."

"Hey, baby. Did I catch you before lunch?" He's sweet, he truly is. But he knows my entire schedule, which means he knows exactly when he caught me, not a minute late.

"Uh, yeah. I'm actually headed there now. Well, after I wash off all this paint."

"Paint? You running the art class? Have they seen you draw?" He laughs, clearly trying to make a joke. Problem is, I'm actually not a terrible artist. I wouldn't go selling work on the street or anything, but when you grow up with countless art projects and realms of endless creativity, courtesy of my Aunt Lacy, you pick up a thing or two.

Why he would make that comment, I'm not really sure. Okay, I guess that's not completely true. It's not like I've ever shown him that side of myself, but why would I? It's not necessarily a hobby. It's just something I like to do with Lacy. Especially when things get stressful. Besides softball, it's pretty much the best escape, well, that and midnight hot chocolate topped perfectly with marshmallows and the slightest touch of cinnamon.

"Yeah, I helped out with the five year olds and today was paint day." I can hear another chuckle through the phone, but I decide to ignore it. He's only trying to make conversation, to be flirty in his own way. "How about you? Are you on break?"

Ben ended up locking down a pretty solid internship this summer. Some pre-college program offered close to home to allow students to work inside a lab. I can't say I wasn't a little jealous of the opportunity he snagged. Although he's not in the realm of forensics, he's in a lab nonetheless. The scientist in me lights up just thinking about it.

"Yeah, I actually have to get back soon. But I got to speak to one of the lab technicians today. You would love it here, Mia. They have a whole diagnostic center where they analyze samples."

Now I have a true smile. Something he does actually know a lot about is my plan for the future. I've always been fascinated by crime shows. And having a stepdad in law enforcement, hearing his stories, only added to the enticement. A police officer was never a path I wanted to travel, but science makes sense to me. There's a puzzle to be solved, a pattern to discover, a problem just waiting to be answered. Combining the beauty of science with crime scene investigation and a whole new world opened up for me. One that I just felt was all mine.

"That sounds really perfect, actually," I reply, taking a glance across the field. I'm happy I'm here. I feel a sense of calm, a weird feeling of home being at this camp that, in reality, is so far from home. But despite hearing how Ben's internship is going, I'm still happy this is where I chose to be this summer.

"You could have stayed, you know? We could have spent the whole summer together. Our last moments before we're apart for months."

And we're back here again. He had it all planned out, our last summer together before college. The internship had multiple openings, and he knew how much it would tempt me to stay. What he didn't take into account was that it's not just my last summer with him before college, but my last summer for this camp. There was no way to explain that, to play a game of comparison without it sounding horrible. I mean, how do you place words to the scenario that you'd rather be a camp leader than spend a summer with your boyfriend?

It's not him. He's amazing. He's sweet and considerate, and he doesn't play games. It's just, he doesn't understand what summers here have meant to me. It's not just about seeing the smiles on the kids' faces or getting to spend time with my best friend. It's about being connected to the Sallows, to Tommy. But there's no way to actually express that to Ben. To give reason to why I need to be here.