Moonset (GxG)

Twenty- Visiting Home

"When can I see you again?"

Automatic naman akong napatingin dito. Kahit si Rain ay nagulat sa tanong nya.

"I-I mean, to work with you."

Ohh. It's about my clinical research.

Lumapit ito sa'kin at napaatras naman ako. "Can I have at least have your contact number or can we meet tomorrow?"

"N-no." No, we can't. Hindi ko kayang harapin ka.

"What do you mean no, Calli? You've been waiting for this." Tanong naman ni Rain. Nawiwirduhan siguro sya sa inaakto ko ngayon at kahit ako naman siguro.

"Ahh— no, not tomorrow. I'm on leave until next week. So baka next week na. I'm really sorry, but I have to go."

Umalis na ako agad at hindi na hinintay ang sasabihin nila.

The heck! San ko nakuha yung on leave ako for a week? Sobrang hectic ng schedule ko this week, lalong lalo na hindi naman ako nakapag file ng leave.

Pagkapasok ko ng kotse ay hinanap ko agad ang phone ko.

I dialed Lovi's number at hindi naman ako nabigo dahil sinagot nito agad.

"S-sheb?" My voice cracked as soon as she answered.

"Hey shebby, what's wrong?"

Hindi ko alam paano nagagawa ni Lovi na malaman agad na hindi ako okay dahil ramdam ko ang pag-aaalala sa boses nya.

"S-sheb." I've been holding in a lot of tears lately that my eyelids couldn't contain them anymore.

"Where are you? I'm coming."

Narinig kong gumagalaw sya at pag kalansing ng susi nya.

"P-parking lot."

"Alright. Don't go anywhere. Wait for me there."

My bestfriend knows where I am. She knows my schedule too kaya mabilis nyang mapick up kung nasaan ako.

We didn't talk habang pauwi kami sa bahay ko. What I love about my bestfriend is she never force me to open up about my feelings. She just wait until I'm ready.

"Did you eat breakfast?" She asked as soon as we enter my house.

"I'm really not hungry. Did you?"

Nilagay ko ang bag ko sa center table at umupo sa couch. I automatically closed my eyes. I feel so exhausted.

I've been sitting in Lovi's car bawling my eyes out. For years, para lang akong tanga na iniiwasan ang makaramdam ng sakit pagkatapos mawala halos lahat ng taong mahal ko. I keep numbing the pain and just keep on praying that she'll come back even though she abandoned me when I needed her the most.

But now that she's back, I never thought all the pain would come back, too.

I tried to understand her for abandoning me, alam kong may rason sya kahit di nya sinabi sa'kin. So I waited and waited and waited for her kahit hindi naman nya hiniling.

Hindi ko alam kung saan ang mas masakit— yung iniwan nya ako, o yung bumalik sya pero kinalimutan nya ako.

"Nope. So I'm gonna prepare us a meal while you change into comfortable clothes. How's that sound?"

Binuksan ko ang aking mga mata at bakas sa mukha ni Lovi ang pag-aalala.

Tumango ko at tumayo para lapitan sya. Siguro kilalang kilala nya na talaga ako dahil hindi sya nagulat na niyakap ko sya, na niyakap nya din ako pabalik.

"You're such a cry baby."

"No, I'm not."

Naramdaman ko namang natawa ito dahil suminghot ako.