The Wolf Pack

Chapter 50

Waxer was about to fold underneath his Commander stare. She was extremely annoyed at him, that much he could tell, but there was an underlying current of betrayal to her gaze that was currently making it really hard for him not to apologize. He felt Boil's gentle nudge to the ribs as if encouraging him to grow a spine. The Commander was not that scary. She was not, not at all.

Besides, they both knew it was a part of their duty to keep her from killing herself on the field. Snitching her out to her master was just a way for them to do that. She needed to rest after the work she had put in.

She had been on the field planning, fighting, running around and hanging from the underside of a bridge for three days, and she had barely slept during that time. They knew she was very close to breaking under exhaustion and sleep deprivation, but convincing her of taking a break had proven to be near impossible.

But if they couldn't get her to do it, the General would. If he had been conscious, of course. Commander Cody had told them that the General was currently recovering in a bacta tank, but he was more than willing to give her the order himself. And if she didn't, he would put a medic on her ass to outrank her into rest.

Kriari was stubborn like that.

It was rather funny if they really thought about it: an entire battalion of clones conspiring on the best way to get their Commander to just take a damn break.

But Kriari wasn't laughing, and Waxer felt like doing so would be a grave mistake given the circumstances.

"Commander Cody said that if you didn't obey him maybe you would a medic..."

The Padawan sighed and turned to leave, grumbling under her breath about clones being too smart for their own good. Both troopers sighed heavily in relief once she was out of earshot. That could have gone a lot worse.

....

Once the door slid shut behind her, Kriari started to take off her armor. Piece by piece she took the thing off until only her robes and belt were left. Then, she took off the belt too and headed to the fresher to take a shower. She was filthy, felt filthy, her hair was greasy and covered in dust and mud as well as tangled. Her face, once a healthy yellow tone, was now a mixture of brown and orange from the geonosian dust. The little horns on top of her head looked old and weathered. The image she saw in the mirror felt like a stranger: old, tired, and worn out by life. She was only eighteen.

She decided going through the motions of cleaning herself would ground her in the present somehow, so she started undressing and turned the shower on. The water that fell to her feet was brown, and little chunks of mud fell from her hair when she ran her fingers through it. The dirt on her face caked at first, and the particles that had stuck on her eyelashes did too. She had to scrub herself rather hard to get rid of the worst of it.

Kriari undid her padawan braid at the bottom of her skull and took the bar of solid shampoo that was standard for GAR members. At first, it didn't even foam, that's how dirty her hair was, but by the second shampooing both her scalp and horns started to feel a little cleaner. She took a sponge and the soap and scrubbed her entire body raw before taking a brush and cleaning both her nails and horns.

Once she was clean she just stood there, allowing the water to flow while she stared at the metal walls. She was so tired.

When she managed to gather enough strength, she turned off the shower and stepped out, allowing the automated dryer to dry both her body and hair. She took her dirty robes and put them in the laundry shoot before exiting the bathroom. Kriari put her sleeping clothes on and sat on her bed to brush her hair as she set up her long distance com.

While she waited, she redid her padawan braid and oiled her horns as well as her nail beds.  It had been a while since she'd been able to do it, she hadn't been able to get the supplies before then and her nails and horns were both looking worse for wear because of it.

Then she took her belt and undid the sheath from her knife and unclasped her lightsaber. She first dusted and ouled the belt before deep cleaning both the vibroblade and her lightsaber with a kit Master Plo had given her.

She was putting her lightsaber back together, when a voice interrupted her.

"It's been a while, Commander. You look like shit."

Kriari looked up and tried to force a smile on her face.

"Nice to see you too, Wolffe," she said, putting her weapons aside. "Sorry I didn't call sooner, Geonosis has been rather unwelcoming."

Wolffe nodded pensively as he sat at the table in his room.

"Eh, not your first time," he shrugged. "How have you been? I haven't really seen you since you came back from that mission..."

She knew exactly what he was talking about. After her little stunt with the Council, she had been watched with extreme care, and she hadn't wanted to involve Wolffe in anything that concerned those old conservative geezers. She had missed him a lot. When she wasn't fighting, in the dead of night right before sleep, she would think of him, but she dared not call.

That day was different, she needed the solace only he could give her, she needed the stability only he could provide. And if she was being completely honest, she missed seeing him. His stern expression, his firm but soft manner and his face. His face was unlike any of his brothers: it was his.

"Honestly?" she chuckled. "I'm tired, I'm stressed, but mostly I'm not home, not really."

She didn't know if he would understand what she was trying to say, but Wolffe was a smart man, he would get there in the end.

"Kriari," Said Wolffe, looking straight in the eyes of the holo in front of him. "Come home."

A sob escaped her and she turned her face from him and attempted to hide it.

"The General needs you, the Pack needs you," he paused as if to evaluate if he should admit that he was the one who needed her most but instead he chuckled.

Kriari looked back up at him, He was smiling to himself.

"One would think after everything we've been through this would be easier to say but... I don't give a shit who needs you. I want you here, where we can protect each other. Being apart this long feels... vulnerable, like you took something of mine with you and I have no idea if you'll ever come back and return it."

Kriari's tears were falling freely now and she was no longer bothering to wipe them away.

"I left something with you too. But I don't want it back. Whatever it is, I want you to keep it," she sniffed. "It couldn't be in safer hands than yours, and it gives me a reason to come back."

There was a beat of silence between them before Wolffe sighed.

"I thought seeing your face again wouldn't be that big of a deal after this long, that we might just fall into small talk because we haven't spoken in such a long time... I was wrong. It's like I can't hide anything from you, and I don't want to either."

Kriari smiled.

"I'm scared, Wolffe."

"Me too, Kriari. Me too, but I would rather feel like this than hide it. I give everything to the cause and the GAR, I always will. But if I ever have to give you up, I don't think I'll be able to." he looked back up at her. "This thing right here is ours. Yours and mine and no one else's."

"I didn't contact you before now because the Council has been watching me closely and I didn't want to involve you. This is ours and nobody else's. The Republic can't have it and neither can the Jedi Council."

"If I ever go down before seeing you one last time, know this: my last thought will always be you."

"You are always my last thought. Every night before I go to sleep. My death will be no exception."

"Get some sleep, Kriari. We can talk tomorrow. You need some rest."

Wolffe went to turn the communication off but Kriari stopped him.

"Wait, Wolffe," she said, almost breathless. The truth inside her chest was sure to drown her if she didn't speak it. "I love you."