𝙍𝙀𝘿 // 𝘽𝙄𝙇𝙇𝙄𝙀 𝙀𝙄𝙇𝙄𝙎𝙃 𝙁𝘼𝙉𝙁𝙄𝘾𝙏𝙄𝙊𝙉

camping

"so what are we supposed to do to attract or call these aliens? is there something you're supposed to holler?" i asked after a moment of silence.

"imagine hollering gibberish shit to attract aliens and ufos." blue laughed. "no, just keep a lookout for any movement in the sky, we may not see any today, who knows?"

"so you're telling me, i came all this way, just to possibly see a ufo by chance?"

"yeah you did."

"well am not leaving i until i see one."

"same here." she replied.

"imagine if we stayed here forever, imagine if we died here." i said.

"i wouldn't mind, it'll be a peaceful death. i want that, dying without pain. just a death where i wouldn't know that my last breath is going to be my last breath, maybe dying in my sleep at an old age. too bad you don't always get what you want." blue said. "what do you think of death?" she asked.

" i used to want to be dead, but now i'm terrified of it. i don't want to die, there are still a lot of things that i haven't done yet, i'm too young. the whole concept of death terrifies me, like, what happens when you die? the way you die? and the people you love hurt because of you, it's all so so so terrible." i answered. "are you scared of death?"

"terrified of it." she frowned her brows, as if she's recalling back an event in her past. i sometimes think about that, her past. what was her life like before i knew her? her childhood, her best memories, her worst memories, her fears and her favorite places. i love to wonder about that, i could go on and on with it all day.

"have you experienced a near death experience?" she asked.

"i got in a pretty bad crash a couple years ago but i got out of it alright, if we're not counting my mental health, what about you?"

"i have." she answered.

"what is it?" i asked.

"another day, trust me."

"you never told me why you wanted to come here for you your last official trip." i reminded her, "you promised you would."

"it's the last memory where my life was normal and mom was normal and everything was normal. dad took us to camp out here because he and his brothers used to also camp out here when they were younger."

"who was the one that saw the ufo first?" i asked.

"cole." blue answered. "but she thought it was a shiny bird." she chuckled. "i remember being so excited because dad told me about the ufos on the road and mom didn't believe a word coming out of his mouth."

"do you believe in the multiverse theory?" i asked.

"if there's some other universe out there i think in one of them my mom would actually be dead" blue said. "she's already dead to me so she's gotta be dead in one of them at least."

"no i totally get what you're saying, i really hope that my ex is dead in one of them"

or at least in jail.

"we're going to be here for a while aren't we?" i asked.

"looks like it, but the stars are pretty we can just look at them. you can't really see them in cali." she answered.

"i'd much rather kiss you." i switched my gaze from to sky to her and she did the same.

i really really really really really really really like her.

she did not hesitate to roll on top of me and kiss me. "you don't know how bad i've been waiting to get to kiss you again."

"and i'm so glad you didn't say you're prettier than the stars, 'cause that's so cheesy and false."

she knew exactly how to make a kiss memorable.

a kiss turned into two that turned into five that turned into a million into a billion. i didn't want to stop. i think i'm addicted already.

"blue." i said, out of breath while looking right past her.

"yeah?" she breathed out.

"look!" i pointed at the ufo in the sky.

"who knew aliens were such perverts." she chuckled while shaking her head with the biggest smile.

"this just tells me that aliens aren't homophobic which tells me that humans are horrible creatures."

"who knows? maybe it's just a horny homophobic alien." blue said. "i never really got that. why do men, especially homophobic men get turned on by lesbian porn?" she frowned.

"porn destroyed me."

"the first time watched porn i was 11, i think it really destroyed my brain and i feel incredibly devastated that i was exposed to so much porn." i said. "it brought me night terrors and the first few times i... you know, had sex, i was not saying no to things that were not good. it was because i thought that's what i was supposed to be attracted to."

"i started watching it at a young age too." blue said. "it fucked with my brain so much. i didn't want that for cole, so i tried my best to keep her away from that and keep it from having an effect on her from a young age too."

"you're such a good sister." i said still staring at the ufo.

"where did it go?" blue asked.

"it just disappeared." i searched for it in the sky.

"on the bright side we won't have to die here."

"yup." i agreed. "do you want to have kids?" i asked, out of curiosity.

she stared at the sky, her eyes getting more glassy and she let out a sigh. i wondered what was going on in her head at that moment. she seems so full of secrets and thoughts that are consuming her whole being, and i want to unravel each layer of her until i can see her clearly.

"yeah, i do." she answered.

"you're going to be a great mom too."