Chapter 37 - Avenging Angel

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"Fléctere si néqueo súperos Acheronta movebo - If I cannot move heaven, I will raise hell."

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Alex's POV

"You're not coming along?"

Nikolas's question pulled me out of my trance and I broke my gaze from the headstone, turning my face around to look at him. I shook my head, "I will be there in a bit," I said, asking for a couple of minutes alone with...her.

He nodded in understatement. He didn't say another word nor comment on the matter, and to that, I was appreciative. While his sister on the other hand, "Don't take too long," Emma said, and her eyebrow raised, "I wanna go home, I am hungry and I need to pee."

I shot her a glare in return. Nikolas gave me an I-will-handle-it look as he wrapped an arm around her shoulder and used his other hand to place it over her mouth, covering it and shutting her up before she says more as he dragged her along and away from me.

A low sigh parted my lips and I waited for them to leave the cemetery before I turned my head back, crouching down by the grave, in desperate need to put this day behind me once and for all.

"Let's just make this short and quick," I mumbled, "I mean it's not the way I usually do things-" My mouth started to speak without any order from my brain and I winced, "Okay, maybe I shouldn't make a joke right now. I guess it's just-" I shrugged, "It's how I deal with stuff."

I sighed, keeping silent for a few seconds as I gathered my thoughts. Nerves raced through me, a shivered flutter of anxiety, because I had no clue what the hell I was doing. I rushed a hand over my face and over the top of my head, pushing the strands of hair away from my forehead. My eyes focused on the name engraved over the stone, a name I both despised but also learned to love because it belonged to the little girl I adored the most in this world.

My hand moved to the back of my pants, pulling the gun out. I moved it up front and held it in both hands, my eyes on it as I traced with my finger the V letter on the side, "I think this belongs to you," I mumbled, leaning forward and dropping it over the grass by the headstone.

"I know that people bring flowers usually," I added, shrugging, "But when did we ever act like a normal family, huh," A low sound came from my throat, both a chuckle and a scoff and I shook my head at this fucked-up situation.

I settled down, trying to get a bit more comfortable as I spoke further, "You know that I lived the bigger part of my life drowning in the guilt of killing you, and then...you showed up," My eyebrow raised, recalling the not-so-happy occasion, "And that guilt got replaced with anger, so much anger at you and everything you are...you were, I mean."

"So, can you tell me why I am feeling the same guilt again now?" I shook my head, huffing out a tired breath, "Dead or alive, you are really not planning to leave me be, are you?"

I didn't get an answer this time, nor did I have to sit and watch her guilty eyes or her tears, and for some fucked up reason, I felt...sad about that fact -- that I will no longer see her, not that I want to anyway but still, I'd like to have the option. God, I hate this more than you can imagine.

My gaze drifted away, staring at the empty cemetery as I tried to sort through my tumbled-up thoughts. I rubbed a hand over my chest, realizing how this suffocating feeling wasn't at all the tie's fault. It was all just feelings bottling up from the inside.

I got up to my feet, standing close as I pushed my hands into my pants pockets, my fingers wrapping over my keychain inside, feeling the crystal ball under my fingertips. I tried to imagine just how different things would've been if she did take me away that day.

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