Unraveling Him | A mafia Story

Chapter 28 - My beautiful delicate girl

"You know they're gonna use the things you love against you."

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Natalie's POV

I could see the heartbreak wrap up with the shock in his gaze and I wanted to cry and just cry till no tears will be left...but I held myself back.

"What do you mean?" The words left him as a mere whisper and I wanted to step forward and wrap him up in my embrace, I wanted to tell him that I don't want this either, that just last night I slept in your arms and realized just how intense my feelings for you are.

I wanted to tell him that I am falling for him, faster than the speed of light, but instead, "It's better if we break up, Nikolas," The words left my mouth with so much certainty that split my heart into half.

"But," He tried to say, lines etched between his forehead as he took a step closer. I involuntarily took one backward, scared of his closeness and what it could do to me, "But we didn't even talk about what happened, Natalie."

I shook my head, "There is nothing to talk about," I mumbled, "There will always be lies with you, there will always be things hidden, questions I can't ask, places I can't go, things I can't touch and...and I can't carry on with that anymore," No, no, I want to, I want to carry on, I want to slowly take my time, I know you're trying and one day soon you will show me every side you have, you will let me into places you didn't let anyone in before, I know you're feeling it too, I know...and I promised you I will be strong for this but this is not about me anymore, Nikolas. It's not.

A hundred differed words clogged my throat and I drifted my gaze away from him, knowing if I stared any longer I would break down and tell him everything, "Please, leave," I requested, a plea in my tone that I hoped he'd hear, that he'd dig more and realize how I wouldn't purposely hurt him like this. I wanted him to know but also...I couldn't let him know.

He didn't move yet and I let my eyes meet his again, those beautiful eyes...is this how I will remember them? Hurt and lost. Emotions like this weren't things he could handle, he wouldn't know how to deal or cope with them, I know him by now but I also don't know him. There is a lot I don't know and I allowed the logic to make the decision for me this time, maybe it will feel a bit easier if I let my mind think and not my heart. Maybe this is for the best.

We both knew one day this was coming so maybe it's better to end it now when we are at the beginning of the road still, maybe it will hurt less, maybe he could always stay as this beautiful little moment in my life that stole my breath away.

He claims he is a monster, but how could a monster look at me this way? How could a monster be so soft and tender in the way he held me last night, like he wanted to take all of my pain away? Maybe he is a monster outside that door, but he would've never been that with me.

Based on what happened today, I am more than sure that he needs to be a monster in his life in order to survive. I would only hold him back. This is for the best. It's for the best.

I kept chanting that in my head, trying to look at the glass half-full that I didn't realize how he stepped forward to me, "Natalie," He said, an edge in his tone that is begging me to just listen before I go on making any irrational decisions. The second his hand touched my arm, I pulled away, almost flinching. Startled by my reaction toward his gentle touch, he edged backward.

"Please, Nikolas," I grated out of my strained throat, I was seconds away from crying my heart out, "Just leave, and if you actually cared for me, don't ever come back here again." Don't try, don't fight for this, you will only hurt us both.