After Her Love

1. The wrong woman

"Shit. Yeah.. Sorry, I'm on my way!" I threw the phone on the table, swallowed my coffee at once and ran upstairs to get my clothes on. I hadn't realized that I had been in the shower for that long and now I was running late to my friends' wedding. The bachelor's party lasted until 2AM last night and I came home after that because I was supposed to be the one driving the guys around today but I had totally lost the time because of thinking back to the summer romance with Joel's wife to be... Not that the wedding would be the ideal place for me to be but I had to be there for her. Although it will probably take years until the friendship we once had will be restored, I am willing to work towards it. The band is my life and the guys are my best friends, my brothers. And it also means that being in good relations with all the girlfriends was a part of it. Thanks to Joel I even was a part of the band.. I can't throw away all the work we have been doing for the past years just because I happened to fall for the wrong woman.

Once I had my clothes on, I went back downstairs, grabbed my phone and car keys, and made my way towards my car. The hotel where Joonas was staying with Joel and Niko was not too far away so I knew I'd be there in less than fifteen minutes. A little late but not too much. The venue was another ten minute ride from the hotel so we should still get there on time. I always thought that Robyn and Joel would get married in the summer but things started to go so fast after they got engaged again, only a month after me and Robyn kind of broke up.. And then she became pregnant soon after and Sophia was born in July. Time goes so fast but I just seem to stay still while the whole World around me runs past me. I try to be happy for them but it is still hard and I haven't been able to even think about getting into another relationship even though there have been some women who might have been interesting, or I have been interested in, but I just haven't felt like I was ready. And I did not want to play them either so I rather turned it all down before things would even start. Maybe I was making a mistake by that but it just didn't feel like the right time to get involved with anyone. Guess I had to see Robyn and Joel getting married before I could actually make peace in my mind.

After parking my car in front of the hotel, I made my way inside and towards the elevator that was supposed to take me to the 8th floor where Joel was staying. I pressed the round button that had the number eight on it, and leaned against the wall, eyes focused on the ceiling while I tried to somehow get myself into the current moment. Just when the doors were about to close, someone managed to squeeze in and the cloud of some sweet and familiar perfume filled the small space. My heart stopped for a moment before I dared to lower my eyes to the level of hers.

"Hi..." Robyn whispered quietly, also looking a little shocked. Bet she didn't expect to see me here and I did not expect to run into her either. She looked just as beautiful as always. Her skin was glowing and that small, cute smile on his lips was something I first fell in love with when I saw her for the first time. Even though that time she was still with Joel, that smile was to die for. It was perfect.

"Hi." I answered quietly and moved my eyes on my shoes. I couldn't even look at her. She had a coffee in her hands, black leggins and white t-shirt on. I was sure that she was also on her way up to get herself ready but she needed to have her big black coffee before she could really do anything. She just couldn't function without it and she did not want to be a big mess on the most important day of her life.

"So... Big day.. " This was so uncomfortable but I didn't want her to see how I hated to be in this situation. It was easier to act like everything was totally fine. That's what I have been doing for so long now that it has become a habit and I wasn't entirely sure that what if I really was ok with all of this or not. I was just confusing myself with all of my actions.

"Yeah.. Look.. I .." She started and sighed deeply, like she was searching for the right words to say.

"I know this is probably the worst day for you after everything but.. I... I want you to know that you are super important to me and all the feelings I had for you were 100%... I wish I had told you about things earlier but-"