For the rush of it.

Chapter Nine

"Miss Roberts. Miss Roberts? Wake up now." I open my right eye. I shoot up scared. I don't recognize my surroundings. I look around for a few seconds and then at the guard. I finally relax after knowing I'm safe.

"The ambulance is here to transport you." I sigh. This happens every time. For some reason ambulance always has to take you to those hospitals, I asked why one time and they just told me it was regulations. My mom usually drove behind us.

"Change into these." He hands me a pair of cheap blue scrubs that I knew were going to be to big. You have to stay in these until your off suicide watch. Everyone is on suicide watch when you first go in.

I put on the scrubs and walk out. The ambulance drivers are waiting with a stretcher. Great. They lower it and I hop in.

"I'm Amber." Says a smiling black woman with glasses.

"I'm also Amber." Says the other woman with a chuckle. She's white and looks extremely tired. They both look young but they look like they've seen to much for there age, making them seem a little older then they probably are.

"Nice to meet you." I smile shyly. They raise the stretcher up until I'm about five feet off the ground.

"Excuse me?" I ask one of them.

"Yes hun?" They say in unison.

"What time is it?" I ask.

"Hmm," Amber with the glasses glances at her wrist watch, "its three forty five in the morning."

"Geez." I lay back on the stretcher and they roll me out.

The ride to the hospital felt like it lasted ages. I was nervous as hell to. I knew the staff would be disappointed to see me there once again. Especially for the third time, but this time was different. I'm here over a lie, I didn't do what I did to my mom because I wanted to. It's her fault.

It takes about an hour to get me signed in to the hospital. I was put in a room on the first floor to be asked questions by a doctor.

"Do you drink or smoke?" He asks eyeing me.

"No." I lie.

"Have you ever been sexually abused?" He looks down to his clipboard.

"That's on my record already. Ive answered all these questions two times before." I hiss.

"Its policy. I understand you are distressed and tired Miss Roberts but if you could please comply." I was ready to flip shit.

I sigh and answer. "Yes"

"By whom?" He says writing.

"My uncle." I say quietly.

"When did this happen?"

"I was nine when it started." I say playing with my fingers.

"Hmm. I think we should leave this subject alone now." He smiles at me but it full of pity. I hate to be pitied. I'm not a victim, I'm a surviver and everything I've been through has made me stronger.

He goes on with what seems like an encyclopedia of questions. I'm finally led to third floor, aka the teenagers psych unit. The adult one it on the fourth floor. Jill, one of the staff therapist, always told me she hated working up there. She said the men were horny and always flirted with her. I'd always tease her about it. The memory makes me smile.

We get off the elevator and the nurse scans her card and the door clicks. She opens it and I follow. The unit is just as I remember it. The whole thing is basically a large rectangle. Were all locked in here and can't get out, obviously. The staff station is all the way in the front, where I am now. Across from it is the TV room, it has these weird plastic chairs that look like blocks. There indestructible a staff member once told me which is why they invested thirty thousand dollars on them. Next to the TV room is the cafeteria. Everyone has assigned seats there, which I prefer. All the way at the back of the unit is a small classroom where we do our school work. The rooms basically border the whole thing. On the left and right of the unit are about fourteen rooms total. The girls and boys aren't separated.

I glance at the station but don't recognize anyone. The morning staff hasn't gotten here yet.

"Your room is 503 you can go get some sleep. We'll get your vitals when you wake up." I walk down the hall to my room and open the door quietly. I'm exhausted, so I immediately collapse in bed and drift away.

I wake up with my room dimly lit. I smell the all to familiar smell of mental hospital and crazy kids. I get out of bed and head to the front. Everyone is eating in the cafeteria, must be morning.

"Melanie?" Ryan walks over to me. He looks slightly older now.

"Ryan!" I exclaim. He smiles.

"Come let's take your vitals." I follow him to the TV room and sit. He goes out to get the blood pressure machine thing and thermometer. I look around and smile. I remember having a lot of fun in this room. I made friends here that I still keep up with and talk to. We vent to each other from time to time and make sure we don't end up in this place again. But some of us do.

"Alright." Ryan walks in rolling the machine in front of him. He wraps the flap around my arm and presses a button. It starts filling up with air and tightening around my arm.

"Its been a long time since you've been here. Thought I'd never see you again. Which made me happy. In a bitter sweet way." He eyes me. I sink in my seat. I knew this would happen.

"I didn't relapse this time. Look at the chart. I'm here on assault charges. They couldn't keep me in jail because of my mental history or something." I say.

"Assault charges?" He asks in disbelief. "I mean you've always had a temper here and blew up on a couple people but I never expected you to hurt anyone." He says chuckling.

"You know how my mother can be. I can't believe child protective services let her free. All she had to do was smile and talk oh so sweetly and the bitch was under her spell. Either that or she didn't want to do anymore paperwork."

"There's a lot of bad people in this world." He says looking down, he looks lost in his own thoughts. "Go grab lunch."

I rise and enter the dining room. Everyone stares at me like if I'm some sort of alien.

"What is everyone looking at?" I snap.

"Melanie." Joyce warns with a tight smile. Everyone looks away.

"Sorry." I mutter. "Where do i sit?"

She points to a table at the far end of the room.

I sit down and raise the cover from the plate. Spaghetti? I guess this will do.

I glance up at the two people at my table. The girl to my left looks about eleven years old, I feel pity for her. What could she have done to end up here? Her hair is knotty and blonde. She's not touching her food and looks way to thin.

I then look across my table and land eyes with the boy. He looks about my age, I probably would have found him attractive under different circumstances.

"You should eat." I say. She looks up to me then back down.

"She never eats. They have her on smoothies that she drinks throughout the day." Says the boy.

"I see." I start to eat.

"I'm Luke." He says after a long moment of silence.

"Melanie." I say. He smiles and I don't know why.

"You go to my school."

"Really?" I'm actually shocked. You'd think id notice a boy this attractive.

"Yea."

"Melanie?" Calls out Ryan. I walk over to the staff station. "Phone." He points to the left wall. I pick up the phone hesitantly.

"Melanie?" Josephs familiar voice echoes in my ear.