All I Need

TWO

An hour later, I hear a soft knock on my door.

 "Mom, I'm fine; you don't have to keep checking on me." 

The door creaks open and Josh walks in. 

"I'm not your mom, but I did wanna check on you. You good?" 

"I'm fine." I cuddle my squishmallow as I talk. 

"I know you're not." 

He drops down on the bed next to me and takes the squishmallow out of my arms. 

"Hey, give it back!"

 "No, not till you tell me what's wrong." 

"Fine. It's just that all of this seems off, ya know. Like, don't you think it's a little odd?" 

He rolls over onto his stomach, facing me. 

"Yeah, I do, but we can't say anything about it, or it'll be blown out of proportion." 

"Whoops, too late," I say as I snatch back my squishmallow. 

"What'd you do?"

 "I just called him out on his bs, that's all. And before you say anything, you know if Nessa wasn't such an emotional piece of shit, you would've too." 

"How about we don't call my girlfriend a piece of shit." 

I throw my hands up defensively. 

"Ok, ok, just saying this situation is sus and you know it. I'm not gonna feel like a third wheel in my own relationship. I'm gonna call bs when I see it."

 "I know, Ry. That's the type of person you are, and I love you for it, but not everyone can deal, especially not Ness, and I can't afford to lose her. I love her too much. I want to marry that girl, so if it means I have to bite my tongue for her to stay, then that's what I'll do." 

"I say this in the nicest way possible you're gonna be miserable for the rest of your life if you live like that. If you're constantly putting your happiness on the back burner for her sake; when's it your turn to be happy?" 

"Seeing her happy makes me happy." 

"That's bullshit, and you know it. You can't rely on someone else to make you happy. If you wanna be happy, you have to go out and find it for yourself 'cause it's not gonna find you, that's for sure, especially if you stay with her." 

"What are you trying to say, Ry?"

 "That maybe it's best for you to break up with Nessa. I don't know how to explain it, but I have this gut feeling, she's gonna fuck you over, and it's gonna leave you broken." 

"You've lost it, Ryleigh." He says while standing up.

 "Are you leaving?" 

"Yeah!"

"Why?"

 "Because you're literally scrutinizing my girlfriend and my life choices when you have no right to be. If you're jealous just say that."

 "Shut the fuck up! I'm not jealous; people need to stop saying that!" 

"But it's true. I don't know what went down between you and Jaden, but you need to stop projecting your problems onto me and Ness. We're happy; that's all that matters. So kindly fuck off." 

"Fuck you, Richards," I said with tears streaming down my face.

"Yeah, well fuck you too, Ryleigh."