Moonshine

Chapter 26- Alithiní Agápi

"It was attacked. It's just ruins, now." Her husband nodded, looking sorrowful. "I wanted to ease you into it. Into everything."

"Everything?" The same panic, building into her chest and climbing into her throat- she felt nauseated. What else had been lost? "What else? Darling, tell me."

"Rihaaya." Edmund said gravely, and Sanya's mouth opened in shock, her bottom lip trembling. "It's- it was assimilated into Narnia, as was Calormen and Archenland, after the Telmarines invaded and won. Azraq still stands- but I don't know if the palace still does."

She stared at him for another moment, and she had never ever wished for anything to be a lie more.

Her country- her country, hers- it was gone.

She turned her face away from Edmund, and Peter, and the other boy- she couldn't sit up, so she simply rolled to her side, turned towards the other side of the field.

There were more cots, and tables set up- a bit farther from her own cot, since she was a Queen and the others wished her to have privacy- but Sanya saw nothing, her vision blurring with tears and her shoulders shaking.

The land she had been born to rule, the land she had ruled for almost thirty years- it didn't exist anymore. And there was no certainty of what had become of Azraq and the palace there- of her home.

A large gape, encompassing and dark, began to spread through her chest, threatening to swallow her heart.

Were there any Rihaayans left, then? Any Rezas?
Was she even Queen anymore, if her country was gone? Was she herself?
She sniffed, trying to stop herself from crying. She felt Edmund's comforting hand on the small of her back, but even that did nothing.

Being a Queen had been such an important part of her identity- and even more than that, being Rihaayan had. She had been proud of her heritage and the people, of the colour of her skin and the richness abundant in Rihaaya. The country had aggravated her sometimes, and the culture had confused her occasionally- but it had been a land and a people that she had been so glad to be part of.

And now it was gone.

Queens don't cry, she wanted to tell herself, but it felt like a lie now. She did cry, and she wasn't a Queen anymore.

Not the High Queen of Rihaaya.
Not the Sultana of Azraq.
Not the Nawabi, the Head, of the Rihaayan Coterie.
Not the Shahbanu of Hanees.
Not the Morzana, the Grand Duchess, of Kolindi Rajyah.
Not the Emirah of Jaminaz.
Not the Malika of Veersa Baagh.
Not any of the other numerous Titles she had received at birth and throughout life.

She was nothing anymore- and she had nothing.

"Moonshine?" Edmund softly tugged at her tunic- her shoulders had been shaking, and he had thought she was crying, but they weren't moving anymore. She wasn't moving at all, which unnerved him. There was always some shift, a movement of her fingers, bobbing of her knees, something- she was lazy, but her hyperactivity and restlessness was abundantly clear.

"Am I still a Queen?" She asked, her voice soft and rasping. She still had Edmund- and he would know, right? He'd read extensively on law, and on all sorts of political conventions and edicts and the rest. He would know- he must. "If Rihaaya no longer exists-"

"Of course you're still a Queen! You've been High Queen of Rihaaya since your eighteenth birthday, and you'll be so for always." He assured her- it wasn't an empty assurance, either. Once crowned, the Monarch remained a Monarch unless they gave up their Crown to their successor- not in the literal manner, but the figurative power and duty that came with the Crown. Sanya had lost her country, but she had not given up her Crown- she was High Queen, and always would be. "I promise you."
He looked up- not at Peter, but at Caspian, who stood some feet behind.
"Tell her, Caspian. What's she known as in your history?"