No Big Deal

Chapter 1- Sounds Like A Scam

Chapter 1- Sounds Like A Scam
"It is in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped." -Tony Robbins

Have you ever made a deal with a demon or even "better" The Devil himself? You probably haven't. These pacts don't happen very often. If you have made a deal with one of them you'd know the bargain goes a little like this:

It happens when you're in desperate need. Maybe your mother set you up on a blind date and they didn't show up. Then, your car broke down on the side of the road and there isn't anyone for miles and miles and you just need something to relieve your stress. So, The Devil moseys on over for a chat. Maybe when you're about to make this soul binding deal you forget whether your making it with God, Superman, or Satan. Perhaps, this time he's chosen to disguise himself as an angel of light. But, there is one problem. This probably blew over his head. But, I don't believe in God and I sure as Hell don't believe in angels.

I knew something fishy was up. I've had this kind of encounter before. I was ten and I asked for a red marble. The demon gave me it and said the first time was completely free. So, I took the marble. I mean who wouldn't want a free marble. Since then, I've done some research on Hell and its ungodly creatures. The three most important rules to these kind of deals are:

1- Don't get into the situation in the first place!

2- If that can't happen, always lie!

3- NEVER tell them your real name at all costs!

Even though I was scared as an agoraphobic shopping at Walmart on Black Friday, I had to lay the confidence down thick. If I was confident enough Lucifer couldn't get in my head and manipulate my mind. At least that's what Wikipedia said. "Hello, my dearest brother! The Lord our magnificent God has sent me to tell you the good news." He says sweetly. "I know you're The Devil. There's no fooling me." I say with conviction. "You don't have to just call me The Devil. I have so many names! The Devil sounds so tacky. Don't you think? I have names like Satan, Lucifer, Beelzebub, Mr. Devil, McDevil..." He trails off.

Satan gives me a malicious grin as he pulls off his realistic angel mask covering his real identity. With each tug it looks more and more like he is really peeling off his own skin. It was as if he was a tangerine. Satan yanks the last part of his mask off and tosses it on the ground. That probably isn't good for the environment. I pick the mask up and aim it toward the dumpster by my broken car. But, the mask nips my fingers. Ouch! Screw the environment! I throw it as far as I can and shuffle away from it.

That will probably be the subject of my nightmares forever. Probably. I look at him and take in his face. The Devil is a man with a chiseled face and you know, tiny little horns. But, he isn't red skinned. Which is kind of disappointing if you ask me. But, boy was he gorgeous. He actually looked sort of familiar.

I couldn't place his face, though. I mean he has the prettiest green eyes, a perfect body, and beautiful dark hair. I'm actually really jealous. "Are you enjoying the view?" He asks and I turn away from him in embarrassment. "You know my brother once asked what you looked like." I say.
"And what did you say?" He asks. "Well, I said that according to the bible you were supposed to be super gorgeous. Then, he said,"Really?" So, I said "That you could say you were fine as Hell." I say. Satan laughs and pulls out a clipboard from nowhere. "What's your name, Kid?" He sighs. "It's Alex. Alex Carson." I lie and stick out my hand for him to shake.

He turns his nose up to it in disgust. I can't believe The Father of Lies didn't catch me lying right in front of his face about my name! "I don't shake mere mortals hands. Anyway, Alex I don't seem to have any papers on you. That doesn't really matter, I guess." Satan says.

Let's get down to business." He says and brushes some dust of his jacket. "I don't think I want your business." I put my hands up defensively and slowly back away. He stands there motionless and scrutinizes me from head to toe.