Hands to my self

Chapter 6

I'm panting. My breathing is interspersed and Camila is staring at me.

- How do you feel, ma'am? - She ask me. I snort with the "ma'am".

- Can you stop calling me ma'am?

- Is it an order, ma'am? - I raise my eyebrows, and I feel like slapping her for making that face that is fucking beautiful. All the features of this damned woman are perfect, and I felt more and more intoxicated.

- I'm not your damn ma'am , for God's sake! - I speak angry, getting up and looking for my jeans and my boxers. I'm mad at her for calling me ma'am.

- Yes, you are, Lauren Michelle Jauregui. You signed a contract! - Camila is furious, and walks up to me, pointing her finger at my chest.

- But I didn't know I would have to put up with you treating me with so much submission! I... I was obsessed with you, I am, and having to listen to the woman I idolized, who I thought she didn't submit to anyone, doing it now with me, destroys the image I have of you. I don't want to control you. I want you to be who you are, treat me like an equal. - I scream, and she looks at me with her eyes boiling with anger. Camila keeps quiet and we looked at each other for several seconds.

- Just try it. Do something my way, once, and tell me if you'll like it. And if you don't like it, we can change some things. - She begs, taking my hands. I look at her face and she looks like a puppy begging to be adopted. - Please... - I have to know what it is like, know and get to know this part of her world. Maybe it would connect us more, allow me to understand it.

- It's okay. But I need you to tell me what to do. - She smiles triumphantly, taking my hand, taking me to her paraphernalia room. She walks around the room and I wait for her. Camila comes back with a black whip, medium size.

- I want you to use this on me. - She gives me the whip. I get it,thinking about how I'll be able to hit her with that.

- Now?

- No. But soon. You won't be able to postpone this day, Lauren. You signed a contract with me, you have to fulfill it.

I feel an emptiness in my stomach when I hear this. It didn't cross my mind when I signed the contract that I would have to do things that I couldn't imagine and that were not my style. - I.... I need some time. - I take my things, running down the stairs of her house. Camila runs after me.

- Where are you going, Lauren?!

-home! - I scream.

- What do you mean home? Why?

- I need some time Camila, time to get used to all this. - She stops in front of me, panting, and with an indecipherable expression.

- It's okay. I'll give you that time. But know that you will have to do what you need to do. You signed a contract. - I confirm with my head, desperate to leave and stay in the tranquility of my house, where there were no hot Latin women driving me crazy.

- How are you leaving?

- I've got Jerry. I brought the key with me. - I open the door to her house, looking at my cell phone and seeing that it's already 10 p.m.

- It's okay. See you in the studio tomorrow. - She gives me a kiss on the cheek and I smile lightly.

- Okay. Bye. - I leave the house, breathing hard and trying to ignore all of today.

(...)

When I got home last night, Dinah and Ally had gone to visit Dinah's family, so I didn't have to give much of an explanation. I wouldn't dare to tell them about Camila and me, because she asked for secrecy, and I don't know if I would have enough courage to tell them that, since that would involve a lot of questions asking me to leave Camila and that was something I wouldn't do. I waited too long to have her, and now that I have the chance, I'm not going to throw it away. I spent a lot of time looking at all the photos of Camila in my room, so cold and unattainable and now I had sex with her, and I could hit her if I wanted to. I chose to comply with what Camila said, about domination, and had researched the ways to do it. I would surprise her.

I woke up on time the next morning, willing not to be late for work. When I opened my wardrobe, I found all the clothes Normani bought the day before and decided to wear some of them. My glasses were there, in a corner, and I feel an emptiness when I realize that I didn't need to wear them anymore. I drive jerry , because I wanted to maintain normality, which was something difficult since everything changed, I was arrested, I had sex with Camila Cabello. Very normal. The studio was already full, and when I pass by everyone keeps looking at me. I raise my eyebrows when I see some girls who were extras in the movie, and who always ignored me, waving at me. It's very strange. I get to the studio and see a boy with glasses distributing coffee to everyone. Drake was sitting in his chair having his coffee and talking to Jared Leto.

- Oh, Lauren! Hello, how are you? - Drake formally asks, taking my hand.

- Um, I'm fine. Who is that guy? - I point out the coffee boy. - I thought it was my job. - I speak confused.

- Well, I decided that you're too good to be able to distribute coffees. So, now you're going to help me with the scenes. I got you a chair. - There was a chair next to him and it had my name behind it. Wow.

- But why? - I speak, and before he answers, someone else does it.

- Because you deserve it. - Camila says, walking to me and giving me a smile. She looked beautiful as always, wearing high-waisted pants and a cropped top. She had Ray Bans on, making her look charming.

- I don't understand.

- I gave Drake the idea. You are very good, and you are always willing to help. You deserved to be promoted. - I smile lightly, and Drake agrees with his head, smiling small.

- I like you without glasses, Lauren. Shall we record it? - Drake asks. Damn, was he really praising me? Camila was doing too many things. And changing my world too fast.

- Of course.

Participating directly in the recording of a scene was the most fulfilling thing in the world for me. Seeing how I can coordinate everything, and change, fascinates me. Camila and Jared were excellent actors, which was a lot easier. Speaking of the devil, at every opportunity She had, She brushed up on me, saying proactive words and making me dizzy. Not to mention the smiles. How could no one realize that?

The workday was practically over, with two directors it went faster. Being called a director gave me great pride. Camila was waiting for me at the door of her dressing room with a warm and inquiring look. She stops me on the way, pulling my shirt, and I see in her eyes a questioning look for answers about yesterday.

- Have you thought about us, mon cher? - She questions low, sliding her nails down my neck. I swallow. That feels too good.

- Yes. - I murmur and she stares at me anxiously.

- What's up? - There's urgency in her voice.

- And I think you'd better prepare your whips,  and everything else. - Camila smiles big and caresses my cheek delicately.

- Do you want to come to my house today? For a first lesson?

- I don't think I need to learn. - I speak playful. - I'll surprise you, Cabello.

- So you're going to come to my house?

- I'll see. Maybe I have plans today with my friends. You may have forgotten, but I was arrested, and everyone wants to talk to me about it.

Camila seems disappointed. - It's okay. I'm going to clean my whips, because tomorrow you won't escape me... ma'am.

And she walks away slowly, swaying her hips, making me intoxicated and thinking about what she could mean by cleaning.