Young Lies

68 ❥ breaking down

"Alright, then I quit." I scoff.

"You- you can't!"

"Watch me!" I yell before walking or should I say running out to my car.

What the fuck did you do Xander?

I quickly called Ryan so she could meet me there.

I don't think I can do this alone.

It takes me forever to find parking but when I do, I immediately park and run inside.

"Xander Mitchell's room?"

"Room 267" She points down the hall.

I start sprinting down the hall taking my tie off in the process.

When I walk in I freeze as I see Xander's pale, lifeless-looking body laying on the hospital bed.

I quickly walk over to him and sit next to him on the bed.

My mind automatically goes back to the night Xander, Alyssa, and I found Asher unconscious leaning against his mother's gravestone.

I remember telling myself that I wouldn't know what to do if I were in Alyssa's position.

And right now, I'm struggling to take in the scene in front of me.

I slowly reach over and grab Xander's hand.

It's cold.

"Hey man...I don't know if you can hear me but I wanted to say I'm sorry. I shouldn't have fought you last night, I should have just talked to you. I'm sorry that you're hurting and that you felt that drugs and alcohol were the only things you could turn to. I'm sorry for being a shitty brother and for making your childhood a living hell. I'm so fucking sorry." I break down.

I sob.

My brother is on the brink of death and it's all my fucking fault.

"Baby?" I turn my head and watch as Ryan walks in.

She quickly walked over to me and wrapped her arms around me.

I can't get myself to say anything, I just continue crying in her arms.

"I can't do this anymore," I mumble.

"Do what?"

"I can't keep fucking pretending that everything in my life is perfect. I mean for fuck's sake I hate my job, I hate anything that has to do with film, I constantly put other people's happiness before mine, my fucking brother is suffering because I was looking past his clear cry for help, my fucking girlfriend was being abused and I didn't even notice, my fucking parents-"

"Axton! Breathe. Just breathe baby. You're having a panic attack." She says while running her fingers through my hair.

"They called my parents and neither of them picked up! Their fucking son is in the hospital and neither of them picked up!" I yell frustratingly.

"Everything is gonna be okay." She tries to reassure me.

"How do you know?"

"Because I know Xander, he's a fighter. He's gonna get through this." She whispers before placing a small kiss on my forehead.

I just hug her tighter.

"I also know you. You're by far the kindest, most smart, strong, and generous person I have ever met. You're selfless and you're a great brother. I know I've only been living with you guys for a couple of weeks but I've watched your relationship grow from hating each other's guts to taking care of each other when you're drunk. I can promise you that what Xander did is not your fault." She says before grabbing my face and wiping my tears away.