6 ❥ we all have are scars

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⚠️ Trigger Warning:Mentions of self-harm/attempted suicide⚠️

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⚠️ Trigger Warning:Mentions of self-harm/attempted suicide⚠️

Fuck, that dinner was awkward. Both Lili and I literally got interrogated by both of our parents, it even got so bad that she actually stood up for me. That's NEVER happened before. Oh, and she poured water down my shirt...that HAS happened before.

I begin to head up to my room to finish writing the song that I was working on earlier. I quickly put on my pajamas which mainly consist of boxers and a wife-beater and head to my desk to write some lyrics that I was just thinking of in my head. However, once I reach into the back pocket of the jeans I was wearing earlier, I notice nothing in either of my pockets.

UM, WHAT THE FUCK?!

WHERE IS IT? SHIT SHIT SHIT

Okay, okay, don't worry Jesse, you will find it. I desperately begin to search for the song in the pockets of my jeans again, the pockets of my jacket, my socks, literally everywhere! By the time I give up my whole room looks like it's been hit by a damn tornado. WHERE THE FUCK DID I PUT IT? I remember putting it in my pocket real quick because my mom was screaming at me to come down since we were already a little late for dinner with the Xus.

OH MY GOD! NO! NO WAY!

I quickly sprint to my window and what I see makes me want to jump out of this window and break all my limbs.

It's Lili...reading over the song that I wrote...about her.

God...if you're listening, you can take me now. PLEASE!

I accidentally let out a loud ass gasp which forces Lili to look away from the sheet and right towards me. I quickly shut my window, lock it, and shut the blinds right after. Well, looks like these are staying closed for the rest of my life.

Okay, let's get one thing straight! I DO NOT LIKE LILI...not like that. The reason I wrote a song about her is that I literally had nothing else to write about. Earlier she was in her room looking for something to wear and I was struggling to come up with a new song, when I finally looked up I saw her and since she was the first thing I saw...I decided to write a song about her. No, it is not some sappy love song, it's just a song about the girl next door. Nothing lovey-dovey, I SWEAR!

The reason I'm stressing so much is that I don't want her thinking that I have a crush on her or that I actually care about her in other ways other than being my classmate and next-door neighbor. Now I know for a fact that she's gonna use this shit against me. Fucking great!

That's it...I am not going to school tomorrow!

Oh fuck wait I have a fucking honors calculus test tomorrow FML

Fuck it, I need some sleep. If I'm gonna face her tomorrow I might as well look like her reading my lyrics did not affect me whatsoever...even though I just gasped loudly and shut the blinds in her face-

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