why'd you only call me when you're high? // ziam mpreg // (has to be edited)

11

I can't stop.

I can't stop smoking my joint. I keep inhaling the taste of illusion. My head starts to pounding. Colors swirling around me. If I could only drag myself out from this addiction then I would. I'm scared if Zayn will get mad at me and leave me, but I'm helpless.

I feel hands all over me, wet kisses on my neck. I try to ease them away and I growl at them, "I'm not coming here for sex."

And I mean it. I have Zayn, my beautiful husband. He's my angel, the definition of perfection. Why would I need to shag other people? Zayn is enough for me, even more. Beside I'm not crazy for cheating on a beauty like him. But I know I'm insane for lying to him.

"Come on Sir, you have to try us" these whores.

I shove them away, not too rough but enough to say that I'm so done. I bring my stuffs with me and quickly get out from this hell hole.

I continue smoking this shit once I get in my car. I take my phone out from my pants pocket. I unlock the screen with the password I set. 180612. Our anniversary date. I click open the message. Nineteen messages unread, twenty three missed calls. I open them one by one, all of them from Zaynie.

'Liam, where are you?'

'Liam?'

'It's already late'

'Liam please answer'

'Text me back'

'Liam'

'Please go back home'

I feel like I'm a failure. And I will always be. I know I should drive my car home now but I can't get home like this. I already promised him that I will never get into this shit again. But I failed him.

I smoke another joint, until my visions starts to swirling. I rest my head on the wheel. Thinking back about the days where me and Zayn used to. Where there's no lie between us two.

Zayn's POV

I walk back and forth with my arms crossing on my chest. I keep trying to call Liam. My heart throbbing so fast it makes my chest hurts. Suddenly Mr. Styles appears in my mind. Maybe, just maybe he knows where Liam is. So I decide to call him. I dial his number until he picks the call up.

"Zayn?"

I sigh deeply, "Mr. Styles,"

"I thought I told you to just call me Harry?" he cuts me.

"Oh, yeah, Harry,"

"So what's up?"

I bite my lip, not sure if I have to really ask him but I only need to know where is he. "Liam left," I take a deep breath, "d-do you know where he would be?"

"Er.."

"Please tell me? I, I just really worrying him"

"Well, I don't know Zayn, honestly"

I start to sobbing, but I keep wiping my tears away. I don't want to be weak or even sound weak.

"Zayn.."

I take a deep breath before talking, "thank you Mr-, Harry. I'm sorry for bothering you?"

"No, no of course not"

I nod, then I hang up. I don't know what to say anymore. I just don't know if I was strong enough to keep talking. I just want to cry and curled up into a ball. I'm upset. Why would Liam do this again to me after all those promises? Can't he feel what I feel?

It's been two weeks since the last time he promised me. Thankfully, I didn't get pregnant from his action on that day. I really thanked God because of His kindness to let me breathe, because I just really don't know what will happen if I am pregnant. I'm still in a deep trauma but at the same time I don't want to kill the baby and I will never ever kill a baby or anyone.

I start to think about Liam again. I'm getting tired by all these miseries, but I have to hold still. And well maybe, with me keep holding on like this, Liam will see how much I want him to be back as his old self. But I don't know. I don't know if Liam still care about me or not anymore. I love him. I just love him so much and I can't ever let him go or leave him.

He's only desperate. Maybe he needs to be free, to live the another side of him in this time. The another side of him where getting high and drunk is what he lives for. I believe he will get himself in all together again when he's ready and he will come back to me soon or later. What I need to do right now is just to be patient and make sure if he was okay and not get caught by cops or anything that could possibly happen when you're a drugs or alcohol addict.

So I let myself calming down. I take my coat from the hanger and dare myself to go out for a walk or maybe buy a coffee. But when I open the door, Mr.Styles is standing right in front of me.