The sixth sense

Chapter 16

LILI

I can't fall asleep, trying to catch the sounds coming from behind the wall. I feel terribly silly but I can't help it. Adam did the right thing, made the right choice. He stayed with Emma because she doesn't deserve to be hurt. My mind is all for it but my heart refuses to accept it. I shut my eyes tight, trying to hold back my tears. But I fail and two small drops fall onto my cheeks and I quickly wipe them away.
A quiet knock at the door catches my attention. It's my mom. "May I come in?"
"Sure," I say softly.
She walks to the bed and lays down next to me, wrapping one arm around me.
"You are so quiet and sad these days. Wanna tell me why?"
I shake my head slightly. "No, but I'll appreciate it if you stay."
"Do you want me to turn on the lamp?" she asks in a whisper.
"No."
She kisses my hair, smoothing it with one hand. "My beautiful girl," she says lovingly and then pulls the blanket to cover me and warm me up with it. I can feel the warmth of her hands and the smell of her perfume. It brings peace to my soul. She keeps smoothing my hair, whispering something into my ear. I pretend to be asleep. She gives me one more kiss and leaves the room. I listen to the sound of her steps. The cracking floor beneath her feet is breaking the silence of the apartment. I sit up in bed and stare at the wall in front of me. I know I won't be able to sleep tonight. There're so many emotions tearing me apart. I turn on the lamp on my bedside table and take my notebook. Because when I dive into my memories about Italy, the pain goes away, giving more space to other feelings . . . like love.

Today I saw you drawing. My heart fluttered, seeing you with a pencil in your hand. You were drawing during our philosophy class. You looked so focused on what you were doing. You didn't see anyone or anything around you. It was the moment I remembered seeing your sketches for the very first time. It was the only rainy day we caught in Rome. The same day we kissed for the first time. We went to the hostel, without taking the bus. Drenched to the bone, we walked into the warm hall, happy and crazy in love. Maybe I wasn't ready to talk about love and give our relationship a name, but we both knew we were deeply in love with each other. The hostel was packed. Some guests were playing amusement machines and video games, others were playing chess or sitting at the bar. That place was perfect for youth. You said 'hi' to Kiara and she responded with her best smile. But you didn't stop to talk to her and gave me a squinting look.
"Happy now? I feel like a real whippie."
I laughed, stood on my tiptoes, and reached one hand to remove wet hair from your forehead. You took your folder and put it under your arm like you did it many times before.
"How about a drink?" I asked a little nervous. I didn't want to say goodbye to you. The clock on the wall showed eleven at night but I couldn't ask you to stay for the night because there were nine beds in my room and only one of them belonged to me and I didn't want to disturb anyone's sleep.
You smiled and agreed without hesitation, "I'm all for it!"
Drenched clothes clung to our bodies but it didn't stop you from accepting my invitation. And I know why, Adam. Because I was wet to the bone too but it didn't stop me from asking you to stay for at least a little longer and spend some more time with you.
"The drinks are on me!" I said.
You rolled your eyes. "Then I'll take a glass of red wine."
We took seats on a yellow sofa with bright red and green pillows. There were many old magazines on the table near it. I left my jacket on the sofa and went to the bar. But before I would walk away from the sofa, you caught me by the hand, pulled closer, and kissed me. I had to stand on my tiptoes again and you had to bow your head to get to my mouth. The kiss was quick but very tender. I smiled shyly and you pinched my cheek, letting me go. I walked to the bar, smiling broadly and everyone around me was smiling in response as if they knew the reason for my happiness. The bar was painted red. Everything about it was red: the counter, the shelves with the numerous bottles standing on them, the curtain, and even the chandelier. I ordered two glasses of red wine and thought it was a perfect color to describe our night. I went back to the couch, listening to a pop song coming from the speakers. You were sitting on the couch, wet and so damn sexy. I couldn't suppress an awed breath. I was sure I looked like a love-struck idiot.
Giving your folder a curious look, I asked, "Will you show me what's inside?"
You shrugged. "If you wish."
I took it into my hands, pulled the rubber bands on the sides, and took out the drawings. It was like opening a door into your world, Adam. You looked a little nervous, watching carefully my every move and change on my face. I didn't expect to see so much beauty in your drawings. The first of them showed David—the very statue that put the beginning to our adventures. You saw all the details, starting from the veins on David's arms to his knuckles and look on his face. You didn't just sketch him, you breathed a new life into him. My skin was covered with goosebumps and my breathing caught.
"This is amazing," I whispered—the girl who never liked art much. I had never been fond of pictures and never stopped to look at them. Because they always reminded me of my father . . .
But somehow, you managed to break the ice and make me feel the beauty of art and let it into my heart again. I kept looking through your drawings. There were many Parisian Ottoman buildings mixed with the architecture of Florence. There were portraits, silhouettes, and various figures.
You suddenly took the folder away from me and whispered, "I'd dying to kiss you, Lili."
I leaned into you and kissed you hungrily. Because it was the first time in my life that I actually felt something real, Adam. The feeling was deep and overwhelming. Tenderness and lust mixed in our kiss. And your smell . . . my favorite smell in the world. I melted into that perfect moment and you.
Do you remember teaching me how to dance Latin dances? It started with Enrique Iglesias's song—a very rhythmic Latin song. You stood from the couch and pulled me with you.
"Did someone decided to have a disco break?" you asked, laughing with to the music. "Let me show you a few moves."
I didn't get a chance to say 'no'. You wrapped your arms around my waist and started your lecture.
"One, two, three, step to the left. Uno, dos, tres, step forward!"
Our bodies bounced against each other and we were dancing or trying to dance something Latin style. I have no idea how we got from drinking to dancing but you started spinning me around the small room and I tried to copy the moves you showed me. I stepped on your feet and bounced into your chest, but you didn't complain about that. On the contrary, you did your best to teach me, showing the moves over and over again. Of course, I felt like a complete loser but the pull between us got even stronger and the distance between us closed with every small move we made. Then you pulled me closer, so close our chests touched and we danced some move, moving slowly to the rhyme of the song. It might look a little weird, considering the music was fast and our moves were too slow to follow it. But we couldn't care less. I stood on my tiptoes and kissed you, biting on your bottom lip slightly as if tasting it.
You tasted like red wine. My fingertips ran up and down your forearms, causing your muscles to tense. You responded to my kiss eagerly, hungrily and I felt the lack of air in my lungs. The music was loud, and people kept coming and leaving, laughing and talking loudly. We stood in the middle of the room, simply enjoying each other. Suddenly, you stepped back. My head was spinning a little and I stared at you, confused.
"My phone's ringing," you said, taking it from your pocket. The screen showed Emma's name. "I need to take this," you said into my ear. I was too drunk from wine and your kiss. So, all I could do in response was nod.
You went to the exit to answer the call or maybe you didn't want me to hear your conversation. To be honest, I didn't want to give it too much thinking. I didn't care about Emma and what your relationship with her was or why you left me to answer her call. I didn't want to think at all. I was a little lost but felt like there was a pair of wings on my back because of everything that happened between us. You didn't return for a long time, so I took my phone and started scrolling down our pictures. I wanted to send some to my mom, but Wi-Fi didn't work no matter the number of my attempts to log in with the hostel password. I went to tell the clerk about my problem. It turned out I wasn't the only person, having trouble with the Internet connection. The guy in front of me looked at his phone and frowned.
"It's not working, is it?" I asked in English and he nodded.
"Unfortunately."
Kiara told us the problem would be fixed by the morning. You returned just when she promised all the guests a free breakfast to compensate for the inconveniences.
"I need to text Mom," I said and you wrapped your arms around me.
"No problem. I'll turn on a modem mode."
Maybe if I wasn't upset about the lack of the Internet connection in the hostel and my one excuse of a calling plan for the year, I would have noticed your tiredness and how sad and a little angry you looked at that moment. Now I know who Emma is and whom you chose over me. Though now I really want to know what you two were talking about the other night. Back then, I didn't know anything. I read millions of messages from Mom who was worried about me because I'd been ignoring her the entire day. I texted her about the problem with my call plan, about the Coliseum, and sent her a few selfies, keeping the part about meeting you to myself.
You were my fairytale, Adam, magical and unbelievable. I wanted you to belong to me, like a treasure from my secret casket. I wasn't ready to share you with anyone. It felt like avoiding asking questions would keep our small perfect world from breaking. The reality wouldn't touch us and would keep us close to each other forever.
You were my dream, Adam, a dream coming true . . .
You showed me the true value of life and love. You taught me to feel . . . and dream.