The sixth sense

Chapter 9

EMMA

ADAM GOES TO the Sèvres–Babylone metro station. I follow him patiently, waiting for him to explain his weird behavior. But he lights up another cigarette and stops at the subway entrance.
"Where are you going?" I ask, breaking the annoying silence.
"Home," he says shortly, making my anger rise several points.
"Adam, are you going to explain what's going on?"
"And here I thought the fact that Paul's driving me nuts was no longer news to you."
"It's no news to me but I still don't get it. Can't you two forget about your childhood grievances and start finally acting like adults?"
"Oh, please, give me a break. Since when have you become best friends with Paul?"
Primary school students are watching our skirmish. Their gazes are switching from Adam to me.
"He needs to kiss her and she'll stop to be angry at him," a little girl says knowingly. Then she raises an eyebrow and adds, "A French kiss is what she needs. The same kiss Sebastian gave me at Helga's birthday."
Everyone starts whispering and hooting and Adam and I exchange glances and unable to help it, we burst out laughing.
"Do you think it might work? Shall I give you a French kiss?" He pulls me closer and wraps his arms around me. "Sorry, Ems. I didn't mean to ruin your day."
"A French kiss might help you gain my apology."
He keeps holding me in his embrace but says nothing in response. His reaction surprises me and I don't understand why he isn't kissing me. I look him in the eye, trying to read him. But the door to his thoughts is shut; he's focused on something I'm missing and he looks a little worried.
"Shall we show the kids how cool we are and teach them a master class on real kissing?"
Adam forces a smile and kisses the tip of my nose.
"She won't forgive him," the booger's modish voice rings behind me but it's no longer funny to me.
"What's going on with you lately? It's hard to understand you."
He frowns and shakes his head. "I'm just tired."
"Don't you like Lily?" I wanted to ask that question three days ago. I offered to go to the cinema and then give Lily a tour around the city. But Adam's expression and his stupid excuses puzzled me. Today he looked at her so morosely and unfriendly and tried to stay away from her as if she were infected.
"Why would you say that?" he asks, shrugging indifferently.
I roll my eyes. "I know you too well. Stop pretending. Just tell me why you don't like her. Yes, she's a little self-contained and uncommunicative. But everyone's different. For some people, it's not easy to get new acquaintances."
Adam shakes his head and says mockingly, "Sure, sure. Little, poor, modest Lily. Ems, you're so naive and you don't understand people at all. Let me remind you something—you don't even know her!"
"You won't stop surprising me, Adam. Where did you get that much anger? You're right, I don't know her but neither do you."
He bites his lip and lowers his eyes. "It's not about her."
"Of course, it's not! It's about you and the way you treat people around you."
Adam sighs tiredly and drops his cigarette. "Ems, I think we should change the subject and I really want to go home."
"We can't change the subject because you refuse to explain your today's behavior."
"What do you want from me, Emma? To beg for Paul's forgiveness? Sorry, but it's not gonna happen."
"Why? Are you still jealous?"
"Jealous?" he asks in surprise. "What are you talking about? Do I need to be jealous of Paul?" he pronounces his name with a scoff in his voice.
"I know that you two fought because he wanted to ask me out . . . and I thought . . ."
Adam looks tired and says reluctantly, "Ems, jealousy has nothing to do with it. Back then, Paul wouldn't stop bragging about his sex-capades, and then he suddenly decided to ask you out. I told him to forget about it. The rest is history."
"Which means it wasn't jealousy that made you give him a black eye?" I say that with a smile on my face, hiding my true emotions behind sarcasm.
"No," Adam smiles forcibly. "I just didn't want him to hurt you."
The sincerity in his voice buys me. I pull him by the shirt and hug him.
"You're the only person in the world who takes care of me," I whisper, and he hugs me tighter.
"It's not true, Ems. Many people love you and care about you."
"It's not the same thing," I protest. It's true, nobody loves me like Adam does. "If there's someone who'll never hurt me, it's you," I add, feeling his body tighten next to mine.
"I'm so exhausted. I didn't get a wink of sleep last night. I'd better go, okay?" he says without looking at me and I know something is wrong with him. But I seem to be unable to get to the reason for his problem. My phone suddenly bursts with the song "Voulez-Vous Coucher Avec Moi". It was Pauline's idea to set that song for my calls.
"Hello," I say, answering the call. Pauline rarely calls; she usually sends texts.
"Lily didn't feel well and left. And before you start yelling at me, asking me how I could let her go home alone, I need you to know that she refused my help!"
"What do you mean she didn't feel well? Did she fell? Is she hurt or something?
"No, no, nothing like that. But she suddenly got too pale and said she wasn't feeling well."
"Okay, I'll try to call her." I scroll down my contact list and then call Lili. She isn't answering my calls. "Lily didn't feel well," I say to Adam. Then I turn around and head back for school. "She went home. I need to check on her." I dial her number one more time but the answer is still the same—nonexistent. "God, she isn't picking up the phone. Hope she's all right." I quicken up my pace and Adam follows me.
"Calm down," he says gently but I can hear worry in his voice.
We're running down the rue de Varrene. Then we turn to the House of Invalids. I keep dialing Lily's number but she keeps ignoring my calls. I practically fly through the door, taking several steps at once, hoping to get to our floor as soon as humanly possible. My hands are shaking and my first attempt to unlock the door fails. I'm out of breath but Adam is breathing evenly.
"Lily!" I shout as soon as I cross the threshold of the apartment. Silence is the only response I get. "Lily!" I shout even louder.
Without taking off my shoes, I rush to her room. I can hear Adam's heavy steps behind me. I don't stop to knock, open the door, and let myself in the same moment Lily leaves the bathroom.
"Are you okay?" I ask, breathing heavily as if after running a marathon.
She stares at me in confusion, wrapping a towel tighter around herself. "What happened?"
"Pauline said you didn't feel well and you didn't answer my calls."
"I'm fine. Really. I went to the shower and left my phone to charge." She gestures awkwardly to her bedside table and then looks shyly at Adam.
"I'll wait outside," my boyfriend says and shuts the door behind him.
"I'm sorry we broke in so abruptly," finally I say, apologizing, and look around her room. It's clean here and the window is wide open. The air smells of something sweet. I don't know that smell. It's delicate, pleasant, and floral.
"I was a little worried, to be honest. I heard a conversation yesterday," I pause for a moment, "um . . . between our parents. They talked about your health. I didn't hear much, but you felt sick for the second time this week, so when you didn't answer my calls . . ."
Lily's face is emotionless, but she decides to interrupt my verbal incontinence, saying, "I'm fine, don't worry." Her voice sounds even and her eyes are unreadable. She sees my confusion and uncertainty and decides to add, "Thanks for your concern, but I'm okay. Really. I had a little headache at lunchtime, but it's gone now."
I nod and smile shyly. "Then I'll go back to school. I'm sure I'm late already." A stupid laugh escapes my lips. "I need to make it there in time for my economy class. It's one of mine examination subjects."
Lily silently takes things out of the dresser and throws them over her shoulder. "See you later then." After a short awkward pause, she adds, "Emma, ​​really, thank you for your concern."
"Not at all. We're family now." Another silly laugh and an awkward smile follow. "See you later!"
I don't ask her why she doesn't want to go back to school if she's okay. I don't ask Dad why Lily needs a therapist. I don't ask where she got that ugly scar on her arm. Because sometimes, it's better not to ask questions and wait until the answers find you when the right time comes. At least it seems to be the right thing to do right now.
Adam is standing near the window in the living room, nervously ruffling his hair.
"I need to go to school," I say. "Will you go home after all?"
"Is she okay?" he asks instead of answering my question.
I nod. "Yes, everything's fine. She said she had a headache. I'm sure she didn't have lunch. She doesn't like food from our restaurant and she doesn't eat much. Do you think it could be the reason for her headache?"
I don't understand why Lily doesn't eat anything. Our refrigerator is bursting with tasty food but she won't touch the containers.
"She likes Regina pizza," I voice my thoughts. "Shall I order her a pizza?"
"I can order pizza and have lunch with her if you want," Adam suddenly offers.
I look into his eyes. "Will you do that for me? I know I'm not her babysitter but it's the first time in a long time that I see my dad happy and I really want our new family to work. Amelia is very kind and attentive. Lili's lucky to have her as a mother and my dad's lucky to have a woman like Amelia by his side. All I want is for everything to be all right . . ."
Adam looks tired and sad. He hugs me, whispering, "Everything will be fine. You need to relax and calm down. Not everything in the world depends on you, Emma."
"My parents divorced because of me," I mutter, barely able to hold back my tears. I bury myself in his embrace and it feels so soothing.
"It's not true. Your parents divorced because they were tired of each other."
Adam will never understand what it's like to be the cause of every fight your parents go through. What it's like to listen to their screaming, knowing it's because of you. Daddy's trying to protect me when my mother's pouring another dose of reproaches on him.
"Just order a pizza, please," I say.
I know pizza won't help. I know my behavior still looks a little insane, but I can't calm down. The feeling of guilt is choking. I really want my father's second marriage to be successful. I really want him to be happy. And I'll do my best not to become the cause of his misfortune again.