City Undertaker || Bang Chan Mafia AU

85: Rolling in the Deep

The first thing she gunned for was instant noodles. It was easy, and she knew how to cook it without making a mess. After searching through their cabinets, she grabbed the first packet her fingers landed on. While she boiled the water, she perched herself on the counter and leaned her head back against the cupboard. 

She missed him again. Jeongin used to watch mukbangs with her. She wasn't sure why she thought of it at this particular moment, but she had the feeling this is the way life would be like for a while. Something would remind her of him, and she would be filled with grief again. She hoped she could make up with Changbin and Hyunjin soon, most of all, Minho. He had expressed his relief for her return but she knew he hadn't fully forgiven her.

Finally, the noodles were done. She planned to sit in the living room on her own. Her lack of chopstick skills had her reaching for a fork. She could bear burning her mouth with the metal utensil at this time of the night. The path to the living room required her to cross into the dining room. She would've almost missed it if it weren't for the clinking.

Lex squinted in the darkness towards the sound. She couldn't see anything, there was a dining table in her way. The clink sounded again. She tiptoed around the table, clutching her warm bowl, to find a figure sitting against the wall, bottles of something lined up beside them.

"Minho..."

Minho lifted his head to her, staring through bleary eyes. He asked in a gruff voice, "What do you want?"

How had she missed him the first time? Well, she wasn't exactly aware of her surroundings, she was hungry. Lex shrugged and casually went over to sit by him. She had the feeling he still may be upset, but she wasn't going to ignore him. He tried to seem annoyed by her presence but she noted the way he didn't flinch as she slid down the wall beside him, bowl in lap. Minho kept his eyes forward, tipping the bottle to his lips again.

"Wanna talk about it?" She asked, twirling her fork into her noodles. It was instinct to ask, even if she was in no place to. He seemed a lot calmer, so she wasn't afraid, even though she detected the scent of alcohol from him.

"Talk about it? With you?" He exclaimed, catching him by genuine surprise. She was interested in what he was feeling? Surely she knew she was part of his turmoil currently.

"Yeah... Tell me about it. I'm listening," She tried reassuring, keeping her tone light-hearted. 

Minho would usually be agitated by a holly jolly attempt to speak to him, but he didn’t have much choice. He was the one lurking in the darkness, drinking himself stupid in the cold like a gremlin. Lex's warmth was something he wasn't going to push away, especially in his stupor. 

"Yeah? Well, my best friend leaves me when my whole group is suffering. I'm sure it wasn’t easy for her too but somehow it hurt more than when Woojin betrayed us. I hated that motherfucker too but it was easier to hate him than... Her. Maybe because I was hoping she'd come back one day." Minho opened a new bottle of Soju and took a large glug, belching immediately afterwards.

"It must've been. You were already grieving the loss of your little brother, then me leaving after must've made it more confusing," Lex agreed even as it stung her to hear how much her absence pained them. She slurped some of her noodles to distract herself from tearing up, the metal fork burning her lips.

"Of course, it's not just you," Minho said softly, his voice becoming sorrowful like a switch had flicked. She wasn't entirely to blame. "I miss that boy. I just wish I told him how much I appreciated him more often. It's things like that you regret, never letting them know just how much they meant to you."

Lex paused and turned her head to him. Even in the darkness, she could tell he was about to cry. He hung his head low and held the bottle with a loose grip. She couldn't blame him. They all wished their final goodbyes to Jeongin could've been happier. It had been so sudden, it must've been hard for him. Jeongin had remained strong for them while they broke down in front of him.