City Undertaker || Bang Chan Mafia AU

69: On My Own

Lex paced around her room excessively, unable to sit still for a moment without going mad. Chan would return soon from his mission. He had been working hard, attending almost every mission handed out. Their time together became slim, and she found herself alone a lot. Sometimes she'd visit others, most days on her own.

During that time, Lex was building the courage to show Chan the conversation she had with 'Chaeyoung'. There hadn't been another response since the last time, but she figured she should still show him. Confidence. What was once her pride became her downfall.

Lex wished she had told him the day it happened but she couldn't go back in time and change it. Better late than never. She reread the conversation until it she practically memorised it. The need to know who the person behind it was itching at her. Much like the itch of her tattoo that she had accidentally scratched at again. Her tattoo was now botched, much like how she felt on the inside.

It was a few hours past midday, yet she had wasted the first half of her day being anxious over telling him. She also recalled more suspicious instances. The time they were followed at the mall and the man named Zain. What had Chan done to the people that attacked her at the docks too? She knew that one of them he... Well, she didn't know what happened to the remaining one.

Though she had never been comfortable with the idea of murder, some sinister part of her wished all the loose ends had been cut off earlier. It was her or them, and she wasn't righteous enough to choose them. In a world like this, she had to look out for herself... And her friends. They were all that mattered right now.

Lex considered the earthy bag Lisa had left her as a truce but decided against it. It was stupid to be lacing her system with random substances before having a serious conversation with Chan.

Chan returned late in the afternoon in a bit of a temper. Lex could tell as soon as he walked in though he didn't show it to her. Her instinct screamed at her to back down but the longer she waited, the worse she felt. It was better late than never.

"Hey," Chan greeted, kicking off his shoes and sweeping them to the corner of the room.

Lex watched him carefully, her heart pounding. This shouldn't be making her panic as much as it was. She's done worse before. Though the thought wasn't comforting.

"Chan... I need to show you something," Lex confessed, bringing her tired eyes to meet his. It was better to get it over with. She hated putting things off for so long, a few days could mean anything but she couldn't take it back now.

"Okay..." Chan seemed immediately worried as he pulled off his jacket and threw it onto a chair.

Lex handed Chan her phone before playing with a loose thread on her shirt. She prepared for scolding for keeping it a secret, but at least she was telling him now. That's all she kept telling herself but she knew it was wrong to hide it.

"What is this?" Chan frowned slightly, swiping through the conversation with his thumb. He reached the first message from 'Chaeyoung' and paused on it. 

"What they've been saying..."

"JYP said not to speak with them without telling him. Why did you hide this?" Chan demanded, his voice rising and his eyebrows furrowing. The little voice in his head told him to calm down but he shoved it away.

She averted her gaze to the ground. "I don't know. You guys were celebrating Jeongin's birthday when I got the messages and I just didn't want to talk about it-"

"It's not about if you want to talk about it, Lex! You need to be telling us these things! It's your and maybe even our lives on the line here so you can't be keeping it to yourself," Chan snapped, anger suddenly dripping with every word. Again, why was she keeping things from him? It made him feel cast aside when she would only tell him things when it was convenient for her.