Fix You

Chapter Eight

He's finally gone.

He took longer this time. I want this to end.

I'm numb to it now. This is my new reality.

Maybe I deserve this. I'm not sure.

I don't know what to think anymore.

I get in the shower. I wash myself like he's instructed me to do.

I can't cry anymore. I can't do anything anymore.

I'm so tired of this. I want it to end.

How can I end this? There has to be some way.

But, deep down, I know.

I can't.

   

We decided to go and sit down at a local Chinese restaurant, Chen's, instead of ordering takeout. It was one of my favorites in Portland, especially since Chinese food was my main comfort food.

Carter had taken about ten minutes to pick out which car we would take, me rolling my eyes at him for the majority of the time.

"Which one screams 'casual Chinese food with the girlfriend' but also comes across as wealthy?" he had asked, drumming his fingers on the hood of one of the cars. The sad thing was, I hadn't known if he was being serious or not.

"They all scream 'rich, white asshole with too much money for his own good' to me," I had retorted, proud of my comeback.

"Touché," he had muttered under his breath.

I smiled at the memory as we pulled into the restaurant's parking spot. We quickly walked onto the sidewalk and off the road. Carter held out his hand, and I eagerly took it in mine.

"Mr. Hackney!" shouted a man from behind us. We both turned, and ended up being blinded by the flash of a camera.

Carter cursed under his breath before whispering in my ear, "This happens sometimes after I make a big business mood or donate a lot. I just made a new investment, so they probably want details on that."

I nodded, turning to the photographers. There were around four or five, one of them writing. I tried to smile as best as I could while being simultaneously blinded in an effort to be pleasant; however, I wanted nothing more than for them to go away so that I could eat, and doubted I looked genuine.

"Who are you with?" asked one of the reporters before snapping another picture.

I blinked rapidly, trying to get the flecks of light out of my eyes, as Carter grinned, wrapping an arm around my waist. "This is my girlfriend, Emma Ayers."

Instantly, they went crazy. Dozens of questions were being asked, the words blurring together as even more pictures were taken. Carter answered as many as quickly as he possibly could before he subtly started to move us towards the doors until eventually we went inside, ignoring their pleas for more questions.

"They're so stupid," he muttered as we slid into our booth.

I shrugged nonchalantly. "I thought it was kind of cool. I've never experienced anything like that before. Although, I think I'll be temporarily blind."

He laughed bitterly. "When you have to deal with it constantly, it gets really annoying. You'll find out soon enough."

I raised an eyebrow. "So, you're saying I'll be around a lot?"