Inappropriate obsession - CenCem story

A lie

Cemre's pov
I saw Cenk showing the video of me singing in a bar to Agah bey. I knew he still had the video but I didn't think...I didn't think he would actually use it. It's been a while and we got closer. I thought that maybe...maybe there was hope, maybe he actually wanted a change. But now, standing in the car of Agah bey's bodyguards, and looking at the stranger in the other side of the window's glass, I realize it was all a lie. An illusion. Cenk just wanted to make me trust him then throw me like this. I trusted him...and this is exactly what he wanted. There was no hope, there is not good in evil and as music as I wanted to trust him...I just couldn't do it anymore. I trusted him with the information of that syringe, I thought he wanted the truth to be found out, but then he just stabbed my back. Then, because I thought I had a chance left, I trusted him again, and he stabbed my back. Again.

I wanted to feel something, even pain would be good, but I was no longer capable of feeling anything. After the first time he stabbed me, I still had hope and destroyed myself by pushing me on the edge with Nedim. I was trying to stop him from telling anything to anyone, to give Cenk time. But all I did is pushing myself on the edge day by day. The way Nedim was throwing me around like a little doll wasn't just a phrase, it was something real, that felt real. That left bruises all over my body. You could stab me in the proper way and I wouldn't feel anything. I was...empty. I destroyed myself everyday, just to give him a chance, but he just used me. Maybe he wanted to use my body and he saw his seducing skills weren't working on me even after he got my trust so he decided to finally throw me out of that mansion.

The rain was pouring down the window and the sound the little drops were making we're sending echoes in my head. I couldn't control myself. I finally let myself cry. I didn't care about it anyway. My mom taught me some lessons: don't let anyone see your tears and don't stay with your head down unless you are guilty.

I was looking at him dead in the eye. He was cold, colder than ice. It was very easy to tell he didn't care at least a bit. We were staring at each other. We were both dead. He died 17 years ago, but I, I died today. Because of him. I never expected my life to be different in this house. I mean, yes, I would be working for some rich people in Istanbul, but I was going to be still with my family, to eat dinner with them every night. But since he entered my life he ruined everything, and I can bet this was his whole point. Since I showed him compassion, tried to heal him, for God's sake I lied to myself just to finally set him free from his nightmare he's living from since he was eight! Since then everything had changed...

I turn my head from the window, not having enough to strength to wipe my tears at least. After Agah bey finished telling the bodyguards the plan he had for me, one of the men entered the car and asked me: 'do you want to say goodbye to someone?'
Cenk's eyes softened at once when I turned to him. With the same coldness he was talking to me this morning, and with the same dead look, I said: 'No.' while looking into his eyes.

And with that, the bodyguard started driving to probably a hotel because he wasn't leaving Istanbul. I let the window down and looked for hopefully, the last time at that mansion. Cenk was standing there as a ghost, following me with his eyes but nothing was behind those eyes, no soul.

Seeing the town's lights calmed me down a bit. Even if it was raining I let the window down. Rain always calmed me down. It was really cold. The dress I had on me wasn't the best clothing that could warm me up.

After we arrived to a hotel the bodyguards gave me some informations followed by a letter.

-We won't stay in the hotel room with you but we well stay just here all the night and tomorrow at the first hour we will leave to drive you to your village. There's no way of trying to run from this hotel, got it?
-Yes.
-This letter is from Agah bey. Read it when you get in your room. The number is 26, ask for the key and they'll know who you are.