Tethered By Lust

Turn the pain into power

"I'm Marcus's younger brother."

Axel went white. The air got swooped out of him as he tried to process the words he just heard. Having just killed his older brother didn't quite aid matters.

"Ahh, I see." He forced a small smile trying to hide his discomfort.

"Did you 2 uncover Marcus?" Noel turned serious for a moment which I wasn't used to. The weight of the conversation changed. His whole demeanor was normally comedic, and he used to never have time for any significant matters because his attitude was you get one life why worry about the 'what if's' when you have no control over the future.

I nodded. "I take it this is why we are at his funeral." Noel continued. Making sense of everything without any explanations.

I tried to speak but nothing came out so I just shook my head up and down again.

"Why didn't you warn me?" Anger coursed through me again.

"I had to protect my mum and you. If I spoke, you 2 would be good as dead. I just never really realized how bad it got. I'm so so sorry, Del." His voice turned sincere.

"It's okay." My lips curled up a little though the tears coating my face to sympathise with him.

"What did you find out exactly?" Noel eyes opened full, and his stare held with mine.

"Let's sit." Axel gestured for us to take a seat.

Me and Noel followed suit.

"He was a serial killer and my abuser." I laughed a little because that's how I coped.

Both men stilled and after a few minutes of silence Noel spoke. "I'm so so sorry." Axel's hand kept my knee from shaking.

"And you?" I wondered.

"I knew he killed his teacher. He damn right admitted it to me one night and then later followed up he was high and that's why he said what he said. We got into a big argument and after that our bond was never the same. I wanted to believe otherwise so I made excuses for him because he was my brother after all. But it happened again. His clothes were drenched in blood. He lied and said he got in a fight and then confessed when he was at a low point and then again came up with an excuse and said the alcohol was stirring his mind. But then later - a few months after his murder - when he found out about your stepdad...." I broke our eye contact not ready for the reminder of him.

"Something snapped. Something everyone noticed. He stole you from me. And then when I tried to speak up, he would hit me, and that's when I just shut up because it was easier. I just couldn't associate with it anymore it was killing me. I just...." He stammered.

"It's okay. We are back together now." I clasped my hands around his.

"How many people did he kill?" Noel's words were bold and stronger this time. His words cut through me because none of this seemed plausible. It seemed like a video game or a horror movie.

"I think it was close to 100." I replied.

Noel didn't respond but dread filled his expression and his whole body slumped at defeat with that knowledge.

"And what do you plan to do with this?" Noel casted a few short looks at us.

"We plan to take it to our graves. We plan to live our lives with our heads held high and if people don't like it then they can fuck off. We plan to have no more regrets. No more excuses why we can't have what we want because you only get 1 life so why not make it count."

"What do you want out of life Cordelia?" Noel prodded.

"I want to be happy."

"And you?" I returned the question.