I'm not ready. // xingyun

School trip

      "pssst" Noelle whispered at Haruka, who looked half asleep, "Are you and Chongyun..? Like, you know!" She laughed, and the surrounding girls listened in. "Huh? No what-" "Come on!! You guys walked in together, what other excuse is there?" Another classmate said. "We're just friends ahha. We lost track of time talking?" "Talking huh.. Come on admit it! It'd be perfect! Sena and Xingqiu and you and Chongyun. Imagine all the fun double dates." Sucrose leaned over. "Stop guys, we're just friends, for real." Haru looked over at Sena. But she just seemed... uninterested. Or, maybe more like annoyed.
    "Alright, now, what you guys have been waiting for since freshman year," The teacher started. Yun's eyes lit up. "The senior trip!!" The teacher smiled, setting up a powerpoint on the board. The class was pretty excited. "Alright, so, as most of you know, this is a trip only allowed for 3rd years, this year were doing it a little earlier than normal, but don't worry you still have time!" Xingqiu turned to look at Yun, both with a giant grin on their faces. "Miss!" A student from the back shouted, "Where are we really going?" That question got others talking. "I hope it's Mondstat.." "What?! You're crazy! Inazuma is way better!" "Okay, quiet. The trip will be to Inazuma." The teacher went to the next slide of the powerpoint. "It'll be a week long, we found a pretty nice hotel so it'll be a pair per room, and, of course, same gender." She turned around to see one of the couples of the class sighing. "Anyway, I'll pass out the forms in a second and you can write down all the info and pairs and whatever. Also, I'll need parent signatures by thursday." The students started moving their desks around to sit next to their friends, so Yun did the same. "Wanna room?" He couldn't help but smile. "Is that even a question? Come on!!!!" Xingqiu pointed at the box where you were supposed to write your partners name. "This is so fun.." He started writing, "I mean, you know how excited i've been for this." "Of course," Xingqiu grinned, "It's all you talked about during your second year, when all your 3rd year friends left." "My bad!! Okay... I'll fill out all the medical stuff. Then.. I just need my Dad's signature." Yun sighed. "What happened?" Xingqiu asked, he didn't know about what happened with his parents. "Ah, its nothing. I just.. don't know if they'll be home by thursday. I might need them to send me an electronic signature."
"Hey..." Haru looked over at Sena, "Let's partner up, okay?" She tried her best to be all smiley like usual. "Can we talk?" Sena overrided. "Huh? About what?" Haru got confused. "Well, I just. I don't know how to act with you anymore. Don't get me wrong, it's not your fault, obviously. But, I just can't seem to get along with you as we used to. When were doing friend things in the back of my mind I feel like I'm leading you on. And when we fight we can't seem to apologize like before!" She tried to whisper to her, but they were in a corner so no one was really listening in. "Sena.." Haru smiled, though it wasn't quite genuine, "You rejected me.. I won't think you're leading me on, so just treat me like normal. But, if I make you uncomfortable you have to tell me." Haru knew it was her fault.  "No.. I really treasure you and obviously you've been my friend for so many years. But, I wish it wasn't this complicated!" Sena scratched at her head. "Yo, we're leaving for break. See you next class?" Noelle interrupted them. "Ah, erm, yea?" Haru waved them bye. They were practically the only ones left in the class. "Sena! Look, I may have had a crush on you but you're still my bestfriend! I don't want you ghosting me because I expressed something. Look, if I could I would take back what I said to you that day in an instant---" "Damnit!" Sena put her head down. "What?! Did I say something wrong again?!" Haru just wanted to understand. "No! It's not you. It's me! I'm so frustrated with myself and my STUPID feelings!" "What are you talking about?" "I like you, Haru! I hate it when you're so friendly with Chongyun or go hang out with him without me! It's stupid right? Because he has a boyfriend or whatever but I can't help but feel jealous!" Sena just vented. Haru was a little shocked, "Rewind, then! Why did you reject me! You know how much I cried that night!" Haru looked at her. "Because I know it would hurt both of us! Why am I even saying this. I just ruined us even more." "Sena I literally just want to understand you. I'm okay with you not wanting a relationship between us, even if that's not how I feel, it doesn't mean I should force it on you. I just wanna know what you're feeling without you keeping any secrets." "I just want to be friends.. and nothing more.." Sena hesitated. She wanted to start over. "Okay. Let's be friends again. SO!!! Put my name in that box!" She acted friendly again, though I'm not sure how she really felt.