Scared Of Healing

Outbreak

I see Baker rest on the door frame, silently observing... I then look to Luke and Maggie, giving them a nod, signalling that we should do this now. They both give slight nods back and reposition themselves to be most effective. Maggie carefully cups Ellie's cheeks in her hands and softly holds it still, while Luke takes her hands to keep them out of the way. Ellie's stream of tears thickens as she realizes what is happening, "oh, I'm sorry sweetie, I'm so sorry" Mags whispers sympathetically as she looks into Ellie's desperate eyes, gently wiping away the tears with the pads of her thumbs. I then gently pinch her chin between my thumb and forefinger, lifting her chin to tilt her head back slightly. "Deep breaths for me angel" Luke says soothingly as I insert the swab into her nostril, leading her to let out an involuntary sob. "Stay nice and still for me sunshine" I encourage as I push the swab further up Ellie's nose. She lets out a squeal after a few seconds signifying just how uncomfortable she is, "sorry sweetie, I'm almost done" I apologise, wiping some of her tears away before carefully moving the swab around to get the best possible sample and then pulling the swab back out.

"Ok, other side then I'm all done" I say sympathetically and she looks at me, shaking her head. More tears slide down her cheeks as she remains anxious. "No more" she whimpers and I sigh. "I'm so sorry sweetie, but we really need to get this done" I say sympathetically. She just cries, letting Maggie hold her, and allowing me to gently push the swab up her other nostril. "Keep breathing angel, you're doing well" Luke encourages before I push the swab further up. Ellie's hand slips out of Luke's grip and comes up to her nose, "sorry sunshine, I know, I know" I apologise, taking Ellie's hand in my free one before pulling out the swab. "Sorry Elle, I know that side's a bit worse, but I'm done now" I apologise. She lets out a sigh of relief when she is sure that I am done, allowing Maggie to wipe away the last of her tears. "Baker, can you go run this to the lab for me?" I ask. He quickly takes the swab from me, "and Baker, if you lose this..." I warn, "of course Dr Clifford" he says.

Maggie has left, going back to the nurses station after making sure that Ellie is as comfortable as possible. Ellie seems to be relatively calm now, knowing that her ordeal is over. It takes about 15 minutes for Baker to return but he comes bearing results. He passes me a piece of paper and I look at it before sighing. "Alright sunshine, we're gonna have to give you a couple of little injections to protect you from a sickness that has been floating around, do you think you can let us do that?" I say, to which she nods, "alright Ellie, we'll just let Josh go get it ready" I say, looking to Baker who seems kinda shocked that I've asked him to do something, "go Baker" Luke says, noticing his lack of movement. I don't know how he got his placement here, he seems so incompetent to the point where it is almost funny. The intern quickly scurries away to go get the injections. "Ellie, I want to test this guy a bit, do you think I can let him do one of the needles?" I ask, smiling encouragingly. She smiles and nods, "ok honey, I have a feeling that he isn't going to be very good at this but I think you're pretty brave, aren't you?" and she nods again, proudly, seeming excited about the prospect of testing this man. "Make it challenging for him" I chuckle, prompting another smile from my patient, "you two are evil" Luke chuckles just before Baker comes back with a kidney dish containing two injections.

"Go on Baker" I say, nodding my head towards Ellie, signalling for him to proceed with the injections. "What, you want me to do it?" he asks, "you seem up for a challenge" I say. He tries to stifle a groan, knowing that I could so easily get him fired. He takes a stool and places the kidney dish with the needles in it next to Ellie, in clear view of her. Luke and I share a look before I give a wink to my patient, giving her permission to freak out, and so she does. She starts looking around nervously and scooting away from Baker, "what is she doing?" he asks, annoyed, "she's scared" I answer simply. "Ellie, come here, let's get this over with" he sighs, putting his hand out, trying to pull her closer to him. This genuinely freaks her out because I know she doesn't trust him. Ellie starts to hyperventilate, "what do you not get about, unless you can see that she is comfortable, do not touch her?" I ask, gobsmacked that this is his attempt at getting her to let him stab her. "It's ok sunshine, deep breaths for me, just focus on me" I say, taking Ellie's attention and managing to calm her.

"Ok, I'll show you how to do it, then maybe you can have a go, hmm?" I say, raising an eyebrow at him. He sighs as he gets up from his stool, passing me the needles. "Alright sweetheart, I have to give you some medicine now, alright. I need you to be really brave for me sunshine" I say and wait for Ellie to move to me. "Good girl Ellie" I praise, "can I hold your arm, really gently please?" I ask carefully, knowing that she won't like this. She whimpers nervously but allows me to hold her arm before I wipe it with an alcohol pad. "Ok sunshine, little sting" I warn before quickly completing the injection. Ellie doesn't even flinch at the sting.

"Ok Baker, now you go" Luke says, crossing his arms and raising an eyebrow in the intern's direction. Baker takes a deep breath, knowing that he has to get this right. Ellie goes right back to how she was before though and shuffles as far away from him as she can get. "Ellie honey, do you want to come sit here with me?" Luke asks carefully, sitting closer to Baker, knowing that he is going to need some help. Ellie looks to me nervously and I give her a little nod. She slowly moves towards the two. Baker sits there for a second, hesitating and I can see that he really isn't going to be able to do this and I sigh, "alright Baker, you can go back to your phone in the lounge, we'll try again another day" I say, disappointment evident in my words. He looks to me with a mix of embarrassment, upset and relief written on his face. "Alright angel, can I hold your arm?" Luke asks as Baker slowly gets up to leave. I see him watch Luke as he prepares Ellie for the injection, and I smile, seeing that he may be capable of improvement. "Little pinch Ellie" Luke warns before completing the injection, again, without Ellie even flinching.

Luke and I leave Ellie to have a little rest and we are just standing at the nurses station, chatting. I sigh and stop the conversation when I see Ash walking over. I know he wants to do the pelvic exam now and I know it's going to be difficult. He grabs me and drags me over to my patient's room before allowing me to compose myself and we calmly walk in together.