Make me remember (to forget)

Chapter 47

Emily

When I wake up the next morning, Logan is still asleep next to me. His arm and leg are both swung over me, making it impossible to leave the bed without waking him up. I try to remove his arm, but he whines, "Don't go, you're warm." 

"Logan, I have to pee. Let me go!"

He rubs his cheek against mine, and under other circumstances, I would've probably appreciate it that. However, I'm not particularly a morning person, especially when I need to pee. "Logan!" I shout-whisper. "You have three seconds to move before I throw you out of my bed!"

He groans before finally switching to the other side. 

I let out a sigh of relief as I rush to the bathroom. After finishing my morning routine and taking a quick shower, I can't help but glance at my reflection in the mirror. 

I always thought that I would feel different after losing my V Card. Maybe it's because of the countless books and movies in pop culture that have romanticized it and made it seem like it should be one of the most important moments of our lives or a benchmark of growth and maturity.

However, I don't feel that way at all. My body looks exactly the same. I'm still exactly the same as I was yesterday.

When I think back of yesterday, a smile makes it way to my lips. We sort of didn't get much sleep. Logan was amazing, though. It's not that he's just a God in the physical touch department, but he also made me feel very safe the entire time. He kept asking me if it hurts, if I like what he's doing, if I'm comfortable. It was really sweet of him. 

With that being said, I'm so glad that my first time was with him. Because although it did hurt, especially at first, he was so gentle and went really slow until I was able to adjust. Whatever I was previously feeling for him has only intensified.

I quickly get dressed into a T-shirt and oversized shorts that probably previously belonged to Adam and shrunk in the laundry. As I walk towards the kitchen, I notice Adam's in the living room. 

"Good morning!" I greet him. 

"Hey," He looks up from his phone with a frown on his face. Uh oh. "Logan isn't in his room. Did he leave yesterday or something?"

I internally wince. This is not the way I expected to start my day. I take a deep breath, dreading this conversation already. "Oh, no. He's, uhm, in my room."

Adam's eyes widen. He starts to say something but stops. Then he looks at the ceiling, probably trying to formulate the right words. Finally, he gives in. "Please tell me that you're being safe."

 I unfortunately can't tell you that we used condoms, because we didn't. However, I'm on birth control since it helps regulate my menstrual cycles and make them less painful, so you can relax, you're not becoming a grandpa any time soon. 

"You know that I'm on the pill. Can we please not have the sex conversation? It's still too early in the morning and this is just going to be awkward for the both of us."

He sighs. "I'm not a fan of that conversation either, trust me. Just be careful, okay? And I'm here for you, if you need anything. Like, literally." 

I roll my eyes at him.  

The next couple of days pass by uneventfully. I'm way too stressed about seeing Elsie on Saturday to care much about anything else. Logan tries to distract me: we went on a hike on Monday and Friday, I joined him for his afternoon football training with the boys on Tuesday and Thursday, and we watched a movie on Wednesday.

In other words, he made sure that we had something planned every day. At night, he would sneak into my room and we'd be in between the sheets till midnight before we end up falling asleep in each other's arms. 

It's been a good week overall, if you take away all the anxiety that I was having over Saturday. 

By the time Saturday arrives, I'm a nervous wreck. What if something happens and Elsie gets hurt on my watch? What if she gets bored when she's with us? What if we get stuck in traffic and end up having to cancel?

"Em, for God's sake, everything is going to be okay. We're going biking, it's one of the safest, most common human activities," He adds under his breath, "Unlike your driving."

I roll down my window to curse at another shitty driver who almost made me hit him. We are on our way to pick up Elsie but at the rate of idiots driving today, I hope we can make it alive. 

"It literally says on the web that the likelihood of dying in a bicycle accident is one in almost five thousand. That's like, less than 0.1%."

"Can you stop using my mobile data and buy your own?"

Logan lets out an exaggerated groan. "Gosh, how long till we get there? I'm not sure I can handle all this grumpiness much longer."

"That's because you haven't eaten yet. There's a sandwich in my bag, you can have it," I look down at the maps on my phone. "And we still need twenty minutes."

"You're right, I am super hungry." He says before grabbing my bag. "Jeez, what do you even put in here? Why is it so heavy?"

"Well I wanted to make sure that I had everything with me, just in case Elsie needed something."

"That's so cute of you. She might definitely this curtain sample," He teases, motioning at the piece of fabric in my bag. 

"Oh, shut up! I just forgot to give this to Adam. He asked me to pick it up yesterday."

He grins and takes a bite of the sandwich. He immediately coughs afterwards. "Jesus, how old is this sandwich? Is it cheese? It doesn't taste like cheese."

Oh. 

"Let me smell."

He hands me the sandwich and it does indeed smell terrible. But then I remember that must be an old sandwich that I forgot to throw since the one I packed this morning had tomatoes in it. "This one's old, there's another one in there."

"Fuck, I'm going to be sick. As if I'm willing to put my life in danger again by eating anything from your bag. I'll just wait till we get there."