Coffee Shop | Elizabeth Olsen

84: Pregnancy

But it means she can't come to Milan with me. She's 7 and a half months pregnant. And I was stressed about leaving her alone, she couldn't even put her own shoes on now. She struggled to get out of a chair and her feet and back ached pretty much all the time, she's clingy and anxious and it was the most inconvenient time but Lizzie made me agree to the show in Milan and I didn't want to go having done the math before agreeing. But Lizzie insisted she wouldn't be that bad... Clearly, she was wrong. 

"Mum is staying with her she'll be completely fine," Ashley tells me as we stood in baggage claim in Milan. 9 hours away from her, I felt her thumb tug at my lip that I had caught between my teeth a nervous habit. "Lizzie's orders." I rolled my eyes and started to chew on my nails instead. "She'll be fine." "I should be home with her," I say walking to grab our bags I throw them onto the trolly and MK pushes them for us. I text Lizzie and she tells me she's fine and shopping with her mum in Soho. She should be resting but I instead tell her to have a good time and text or call if she needed me. I know her mum will look after her, Lizzie is her baby but Lizzie is my wife and she is carrying my baby I want to be there with her. I should be there with her. If she wasn't so stubborn I would be there with her, she insisted I go and I was mad at her we argued for three days about it and she called her sisters to confirm I would be there and we argued for a further two days. By argue I mean we just didn't talk about the initial debate, I didn't want to stress her out and she gets very worked up in arguments and it wasn't good for her or the baby for her to be shouting and screaming.

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I checked into my room and then was ushered to a final fitting and rehearsal for the show. I came last minute to ensure I was away from Lizzie for the least amount of time hence all the rushing around me. I couldn't care less about this show. I knew it was my job and I'd do my job to the best of my abilities but I wasn't as panicked as everyone else, that's just the type of person I am and two I had bigger things to focus my energy on.

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"You ready?" MK asked me as she adjusted the clothes on my body another guy touching my hair at the same time. "Yep, the second this is done I'm leaving," I tell them. "We're with you." She tells me and I nodded and swatted their hands away knowing it was my cue and stepped up to the stage. During my 3rd walk of the show, I had a feeling, a really bad feeling. The pit of my stomach bubbled with worry and I felt it twist and clench and I felt like I was going to vomit my heart beat faster. It was a gut feeling and I needed to find my phone to message Lizzie. I normally feel like this when she's had an attack or something is off with her.

I rushed off the stage backstage ignoring my outfit change and grabbed my phone that was on silent and completely blowing up. I take a few quick breaths before trying to even them out. Not the time to have a meltdown. 

"We need to go," Ashley said pulling me. "It's Lizzie isn't it?" I asked throwing the dress off my body and grabbing my sweats. "It's going to be fine just come on." Ashley kept pulling me along. "Is she okay? Has she had a fall? Is she sick? In pain?" "It's the baby, Nell. Just come on." I could no longer do automatic bodily functions my heartbeat stopped and my breathing stopped, the air got caught in my throat even my walking began to stumble as I processed her words "It's the baby, Nell." The baby, my little bug. Something is wrong. I knew something was wrong. "I knew I shouldn't have come!" I say furious at myself for, ever giving in to Elizabeth.

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"What do you mean there are no flights?" I asked ready to jump the counter and kill someone. "All the flights for NYC JFK left an hour ago. "Then you need to find me a way to get to NYC as quick as fricking possible okay? My child is in the hospital!" I demand. MK put her hand on my shoulder. "I'm sorry ma'am but there's nothing we can do if there are no flights." I walked away from the desk feeling myself losing it. 3 days I was away from her for three days 6 fashion show 3 days and this happened. I rubbed my face trying to think of how I could get home to her.