Feral (bxb)

Happy Birthday Part 1

I awoke to the sound of pattering rain, the room was a little dark and the tv had switched itself off, leaving quietness in its wake.

Rain was asleep, his cheek smushed against my chest. He looked peaceful, unburdened and not the broken man I'd seen hours before. Rain wasn't the type of person to open up, he's had to deal with everything by himself all his life, and breaking that habit won't be easy. The language barrier was a smaller problem than before but it was still there, there were so many words he still didn't know or fully understand, he couldn't wholly express himself through words yet.

It had been so hard to see Rain break down and cry, to see him hurting. All I could do was let him know I was there and comfort him, I couldn't take away his pain and it made it unbearable that I was helpless. I somehow wanted to protect him from all of it, but what was causing him such pain were things that had already happened. He was here now so all I could do was help heal past wounds and prevent him from getting any more. The brain was such a fickle thing, it did some amazing things, but stress was its kryptonite, it made it self-destruct. It was like a muscle and stress put a strain on it, carry too much too often and the muscle gets pulled and it hurts, keep straining it and you can damage it permanently.

I know what his parents did greatly affected him, it destroyed his self-worth and confidence. Essentially they were the source of all his problems, they'd left him in the woods to die but he'd survived, at a cost.

The world was cruel and harsh, cold and unforgiving. I hadn't thought about winter, what it would be like out there in the wilderness for him. Animals with any sense hibernated until there was food again and until the bone-chilling cold left. Us wolves didn't hibernate, we struggled through winter each year, human civilisation helped, they had shops full of food all year round and houses that kept them warm, we'd adopted and taken on some of their technology, it made life easier for pack wolves but rogues and ferals lived a lot like natural wolves, but they had a human heart, human intelligence and compassion, a human consciousness.

Rain had been pushed to do things no one should have to do, live in conditions no one should live in, pushed to his limit over and over, and left with cracks that were sure to cause him to crumble sooner or later.

I was no shrink, as much as I'd want to I really didn't know what Rain really needed. I needed to talk to the doctor and book Rain some therapy sessions, I'd go with him if he wanted me to, but he needed to talk, to relieve all the stress he's been bottling up for years.

I sighed morosely, gently brushing a strand of Rain's dark hair away from his forehead and pressing a kiss there.

...

It was a few days later when I remembered that Rain's birthday was coming up, tomorrow in fact, Thion had mentioned it, since they were twins and I'd asked how old they were. It was a great opportunity for Rain to experience something positive so I was determined to make it a rememberable day.

I had to get gifts, a cake, although I don't know how much he'll like it, he'd quite enjoyed that hot chocolate, maybe... not an actual chocolate cake, but something like a mud cake? It would have less flour and be more pudding-like than cake-like. Maybe a little get together? Only a few people though, since Rain still isn't comfortable around too many people, but my parents, siblings, Chamers, Neaba, and of course, Thion. Ranam also loved a party, it was his gift I was concerned about though.

When I got out of bed early the day before Rain's birthday he sleepily reached out for me with a distressed whine. After his the talk we'd had about his mental health he'd been quite clingy, not that I minded, but he was attached to me before that, now he wouldn't leave my side. It concerned me, but I understood that as his mate I brought him comfort, I was his safety blanket, the one thing that kept him grounded.