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A soft reticent knock of Jisungs knuckles on the wooden door made his frame stiffen. Ears perked as he tried to listen for movement behind the door.
When he heard nothing he quietly turned the faded golden knob and pushed the door slightly open.
His head peaking in and his eyes automatically landed on the bed in the middle of the room. His mothers figure laying underneath a large duvet which moved ever so slightly with every breath she took.
Cautiously, Jisung tip toed into her room, looking down at her frame with a heavy heart and he gently pulled away the strands of hair that fell on her face.
Biting the inside of his cheek as he picked up the numerous dirty plates from her bed side table and began to walk out of the room. Stopping near the door as he took one last glance at him mother and he could practically hear his heart beat thump in pain and sadness.
Turning on his feet and being ever so quiet as he shut the door behind him.
Placing the plates into the sink he concluded that he'd wash them later and instead retreated back to his room.
Dropping himself at his desk and in front of the homework he was trying to complete before but giving up half way through.
How could he try and study when his mind was plagued with melancholy thoughts.
A numbness creeping over him as he dropped his pen onto his notebook. Legs pushing his seat away from the desk as he begrudgingly stood up and fell onto his bed.
Eyes staring up to the stars he and his brother had put up when they were children and tears lined his eyes.
Fingers digging into the flesh of his arm leaving little crescent indents if he were to removed the tight grip he had.
Why was grief so hard?
Why did it hurt so much?
Jisung didn't dare look towards the door that he had hoped his brother would walk straight through.
His usual happy smile as he would excitedly tell the boy about a new project, or the date he had went on, or show him the new shirt he had just brought.
He missed him, and Jisung thought he was going insane because he kept hearing his voice, smelling his cologne and he swore he saw him walk down the hall way the other day.
Grief really does mess with your head. Because he wasn't there, he will never be there.
Turning onto his side and hands snaking themselves under his pillow, he tried to get some sleep.
Hoping that with his unconscious state came a moment of tranquility distancing himself from the calamity of his mind.
Eyes closing as his ears zoned in on the cars outside. New York was never quiet and he enjoyed that.
He couldn't handle the way his brain would wonder at night if he didn't have the white noise of horns beeping and tires rolling over tar.
It'd be scary what demons would visit his mind if it weren't for that.
He let out a long exhale, eyes scrunching and eyebrows pulling together as he turned himself to face his room. Feet making their way under his duvet as he tried to fall back asleep.
Minutes felt like hours that were dragging on as he could feel his body become reckless. Huffing as he sat up on his bed.
Eyes glaring at the poster that was plastered on his wall at the end of his bed before turning and grabbing his laptop.
Pulling open YouTube and clicking on the first video he saw- a Jacksepticeye gaming video.
Jisung felt like a zombie as the hours ticked by- only laughing at the odd joke with every video he watched and when he finally looked down at the time he saw that it was 1:43am.
Groaning, he ran his hands over his face. Not at all feeling tired and that annoyed him. Because he knew he'd have to get up in a matter of hours.
Grabbing hold of his phone Jisung looked to see if he had any notifications.
Not really surprised when the only thing on his Lock Screen was the automated message for him to update his phone.
His hand moved to put his phone on the bed when he felt it buzz- instantly bringing it back up and his eyes scanned the notification, clicking on it a little too eagerly.
Minjae
Hey Jisung I have a question If you're awake that is... if you're asleep I'm sorry but uh for when you wake up I have a question ...
Yeah?
Oh... you're here Shouldn't you be asleep? Anyways This is going to sound so weird but uh do you have a spare sport uniform I could wear? Ive just realised that my parents haven't brought me one yet and they're away for the rest of the week and I have class tomorrow
I'm watching YouTube And yeah I have a spare set But wouldn't it be too big? I am like 8cm taller than you
Don't worry! I'll just tie it up real tight ahaha Thank you so much Jisung!! You're a life saver
You're welcome :) Also you should go to sleep it's late
You should too Goodnight Jisung!
Night Minjae
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