Yes, Daddy | A Formula 1 Fan Fiction | Toto Wolff

|| F I F T E E N ||

I M O L A
T H U R S D A Y

The drive to the restaurant was mostly silent but the moment we were settled in, and I had my hands wrapped around a steaming cup of tea, I spilt myself to her. I'm not sure what it was about Susie, but I felt like I could trust her with just about anything.

Once I started, I couldn't stop. The story stumbled out of my mouth, each word laced with emotion and pain. I didn't even realise I'd been crying until Susie reached out to offer me a napkin. I told her everything, I told her about the way James violated me, I told her about the way my father swept it under the rug and shamed me. I told her about running away to Australia, about coming back for Formula One, about Toto.

Susie placed a reassuring hand in mine as I all but hiccupped through that night in London; her face had contorted into one of horror, but it was nothing compared to her expression when I told her about the reason, I'd high tailed it out of the FOG motorhome.

"That bastard!" Her grip tightened around my hand, "Ok, what do you feel now?"

I shrugged, "lost, I guess? No family, no job, I should've just stayed in Australia."

"Ok, so your position on the Board. Was that a paid role with FOG? Or were you being paid by the family biz?"

"Family biz. I mean, I've got savings, but not enough to jet around the world," I laughed bitterly, "I've just lost pretty much everything, and my first concern is being able to afford going from race to race. What a fucking first world problem."

The waiter returned and served us our lunch; a massive-stacked sandwich for Susie and a large plate of pasta for me. I wasn't even aware I'd ordered but my grumbling belly was grateful.

"Don't you see, this is an opportunity!" Susie was chirpy again, a wide smile on her face.

"What do you mean?"

"Your father was toxic. There's no nice way to put it. He was a terrible person who victim-blamed his own daughter for the sake of family reputation, who even does that?"

I shrugged.

She continued, "he offered you this role with Formula One as a way to manipulate your behaviour, to ensure that you stay pliant. He knows you love Formula one, he dangled his approval in front of you, he knows you'll do anything in your power for him because he knows that deep down, you love him."

As she spoke, I felt a fog begin to lift.

"So, he's cut contact, great! No more pressure to 'perform' for him. Now you can do what you want, you can do what makes you happy."

"Okay, but what if I wanted to stay with Formula One? I'm actually really enjoying being here." I put my fork down, suddenly anxious again. "And I want to stay close to Toto." This last part I almost whispered.

"You got here through nepotism, but I bet you've proven to Stefano that you deserve to be here. Plus, Toto said you were way overworked juggling Formula One and the family biz, well, now you can just focus on Formula One."

I chewed on that; Toto was right, of course. I was so wrapped up in trying to do everything, maybe this is an opportunity to do something for me. Oh, Toto...

"He told my dad that he was in love with me..." I muttered, bracing myself for Susie's response. How was a woman supposed to react to her ex-husband admitting his feelings for someone else?

"And do you feel the same?"

I nodded.

"Good, then fight to stay here, with him."