A Secret Between Us.

23. In Vino Veritas

There was no reply, just the sound of the door opening.I rushed up the stairs, two steps at a time and arrived at the door which was half open, gently I put my hand on it and made a slight pressure trying to look inside and see where Juls was hiding, but as soon as the door locked I realized that she was right behind it "not here" she whispered while holding back the sobs due to crying.I took her hand and pulled her closer to me trying to get through the door and out of the flat, she followed me without any resistance.As we slowly walked down the same stairs that I had walked down a few seconds before, we never let go of each other's hands and continued in this way even on the street, until I saw her shivering from the cold and decided to stop and give her my coat. "Hold this..." I said as I placed it on her shoulders then I noticed the bench behind her, I suggested we sit down and she nodded. "Why are you crying..." I said staring at her hands clasped in each other."I don't...I don't want to talk to you about it...I don't..." she stammered trying to calm her breathing "ok..that's fine...but let me tell you...I'm here...just to help you...I don't want to cause you stress...neither to you nor to her..." I touched her belly with a finger "so...please...treat me badly, tell me all the bad things you can think of...but stop crying..." at that moment Juls looked me in the eyes, for the first time since I arrived and obviously noticed the bruise and caressed it gently, she immediately understood what it was probably and then she hugged me tightly, I felt her belly pushing slightly against mine, so I tried to dampen the tension whispering "even the little one gets in the way and does not want us to hug.." I smiled and immediately felt her do the same, that was everything for me, a victory after a too long series of defeats.As soon as she broke away from the hug we were face to face, really too close this time, but I decided to respect her, I gently caressed her cheek while I got lost in her green eyes, my labyrinth from which I didn't want to escape."Did he do it?" she whispered without moving an inch and that was really causing me a lot of trouble.I nodded, "but you know what? I don't really want to talk about him...this moment is precious to me...really..." she smiled and my desire to kiss her had really gone through the roof so I decided to close my eyes "ok..." I hardened my jaw "let's do this...I'll stay with my eyes closed so my desire to kiss you will decrease..because it has to decrease..and I won't do any damage for today.." I heard her laugh so I peeked slightly opening one eye again "but you're not helping me you know?" in response she placed her hand over my mouth and moved even closer to my face "I'm hungry.." she whispered, the sexual tension was sky high and I was sure it wasn't just me who felt it this time, I sighed heavily and pulled away "ok..let's eat..let's eat." I repeated as I tried to distract myself from her gaze "what..what do you want to eat?"she continued to smile at the situation that had arisen, shrugged her shoulders in response to my question "ok...all right...at home I have some tiramisu left over...I..." she stopped, making the gesture "no" with her finger followed by "you're already inviting me to your house? Isn't it a bit early?".

"ok...we're playing this game...all right..." I thought to myself as I continued to look at her "you're absolutely right...but I'm sharing a house with a roommate now..." she twisted her mouth, something obviously wasn't right, she didn't know about Stan "actually if you'd like to walk me home and see if he's still alive I'd appreciate it.." I could see her puzzled look "come on let's go..." I took her hand and we walked home, I was really worried about Stan and then I imagined my poor house on fire at that moment.I let her in first "gentleman..mm..I like that" she kept teasing me, she didn't realise it was only worse for her that way, she was challenging me and I don't know how much longer I would be able to hold back. "Stan??" shouted Juls seeing him lying on the floor as he replayed, at least in your head, the snow star "are you ok??" she worried, but she didn't know that a few minutes earlier I was in the same condition myself "it's ok..my roommate is normal..he's just had a bit too much to drink" she looked at me and burst out laughing "I'll make you some tiramisu.." I pointed to the kitchen "you never tell me these things too, eh.." Tucci mumbled from the floor, I couldn't contain my laughter "come on, get up, there's something for you too".I prepared three saucers and after getting my friend up off the floor, we sat around the kitchen island to taste that delicious tiramisu I had rigorously bought. "I didn't think you were a chef," Juls blurted, "nah...he bought this, trust me," Stan whispered, "it's not true..." I looked at them for a few seconds and nodded, "ok it's true...I can't tell lies..." Juls cracked a smile "this is beautiful..and it's a credit to you.." we exchanged a sincere smile full of complicity "well..this is just one of my many values that will impress you.." I whispered biting into another teaspoon full of tiramisu "not necessarily Firth..I don't know you at all..it's just the first date.." Tucci followed us, puzzled, in this conversation that was so surreal for those listening from outside and so normal for the two of us who understood each other with just one look, "so it's a first date..." I replied with a mischievous smile on my lips, "sorry..." Stan interrupted, "are you okay? Did I drink so much I don't understand shit?" we looked at each other and laughed.At that very moment my phone started ringing, it was Livia."Since you don't know each other, he also has an ex-wife" after saying this sentence he started laughing, alone."I..I'm going to answer it.." I whispered accepting the call and walked away."Did I say something wrong?" said Tucci to Julianne as he finished his portion, she shook her head then decided to change the subject "why are you here?" so Tucci shrugged his shoulders "well...with my wife...yeah...well...I mean...she's about to become an ex too...but you...?" at that instant I returned interrupting them "sorry...I'm here..." Julianne seemed to have gotten a little weirded out in the meantime "will you..will you drive me home?" I tried not to force anything and just go along with her, after all my intent was to be there no matter what..no matter what "of course.." I walked over to the cabinet where I had left my car keys "I'll....I'll wait for you here then.." I turned around and stared at Tucci after his statement, I couldn't just kick him out, I would never do that of course, but I didn't understand his intentions "..ok.." I whispered, at that moment my head was somewhere else.I left Juls at the door, we parted very coldly, I promised myself that I wouldn't force anything and that was fine, "so..you have my number..for anything.." I whispered trying to make her understand that I wanted to spend some time with her.

"Ok..goodnight..." she left me with a small void as she got out of the car, I waited for her to walk up the stairs and then back towards the house.During that short drive I thought long and hard about my next move and frankly I was more confused than before, I found my Julianne's eyes again, but she wasn't...it wasn't her.(POV Julianne) "Hey! How are you now?" Helena rushed over to me as soon as I walked in, she hugged me tightly "you look better..." she whispered knowing that I was still very sad and down in the dumps, but being a true friend, which she was, she had to help me get through that moment also trying to open my eyes to many things."Yes...I'm better...and if you want to know Colin has been very sweet to...us..." I whispered touching my belly while out of the corner of my eye I saw Helena smiling "you don't have to talk...I know you magically like him now!"I continued, trying to stimulate an answer, maybe I also needed confirmation from the only person who had always been close to me, "eh...what can I say...to me you look like two fools...you love each other and it's obvious, but you can't stay close for more than two minutes that...boom!" she mimed the sound with her hands.I could only nod because what she had just said was true and I couldn't blame her, what I felt in those moments was really strange, the love that that man was able to provoke in me was something incredible, indelible sensations that you don't experience every day, but my insecurity managed to destroy even that.I spent my evening sitting on the sofa, legs crossed, hidden by a very warm blanket, a cup full of strange herbal teas that were supposed to help me fall asleep, but the opposite happened.A chain of thoughts unfolded in my mind, in a matter of minutes. The silence amplified the noise of this long reflection, I closed my eyes and saw him in front of me, I could feel his hands on my belly, my heart was in my throat. I snapped my eyes open, I rushed to my phone and opened our whatsapp chat, I was staring at his name or maybe staring at his last login which was two hours old.I wrote and deleted the same sentence at least a hundred times, I was confused, but his presence made me vulnerable, passionate and unleashed in me an unbearable desire to be with him and obviously made me forget about all the difficulties, his words, Livia's words, I began to think that that little girl was really a mistake."What are you doing?" I gasped on the couch as soon as I heard Helena's voice "did I scare you?" she said smiling then she stood right next to me and handed me a bag of my favourite biscuits "don't tempt me...just when I'm lacking affection..." I bit my lower lip hiding a smile "I know what affection you're lacking..." we burst out laughing together "do you hear that Stanley? Helena shook her head as she stared at me with a slightly bewildered look "yeah well...he always asks me about you, I thought...I don't know...now that..." she stopped me immediately "he what?" "Yeah well...he asks me about you" she started laughing "stop it" I kept a straight face trying to make her understand that I wasn't playing at all "really?" I opened my mouth wide holding back my laughter "do you like Stanley?? And you never told me?" Helena immediately turned red then turned around and grabbed a pillow to throw it at me "stop" the hot tea fell on me wetting my shirt "here...go change up..." she whispered as she helped me up "this isn't the end of the interrogation, you know that" I told her as I headed towards the room.I grabbed a new shirt and took it into the bathroom, I slowly undressed then paused in front of the mirror, I stared at my belly, I caressed it gently "I promise I'll fix everything..." I whispered.

(POV Colin) In the following days I went back to Livia's house, for the boys of course, she needed help, the situation with Luca was becoming unmanageable and then I had to find the courage to tell them everything that was happening.
"Guys, it's ready!" I shouted from the kitchen while I was helping Livia, "taste it!" she turned around and handed me the ladle she had used to stir the sauce, I tasted it and nodded my head, "delicious!" I heard footsteps behind me, "on Saturday I have a concert on the Isle of Wight, remember?"Livia and I turned around and in unison replied "of course!" then we looked at each other again and smiled "it's fine...even less!" our son replied as he took up a position around the table "Luca?" I asked as I started to do the dishes "ah he's not at home, didn't he tell you?"
"ok..come on, let's go to the table!" once seated I took the bottle of red wine and poured it for me and then for Livia who was on my right "how is school going?"
"Good, better than usual lately..."
I looked at Livia for confirmation and she nodded "great, do you know anything about your brother instead?"
Matteo shook his head "no" he sipped his wine as I thought about how fake that "no" was, they had each other's back "ok..then-" this time he interrupted me "sorry, work call!" he grabbed his phone which was next to his plate and got up in a rush.
I stood still, then Livia's hand gently rested on mine "they're guys...don't get upset" then she put her glass next to mine "let's drink, it's better!" she smiled at me and we started drinking.
"Pass me that..." Livia pointed to the almost empty bottle, the second one to be exact, we were on a high from too much alcohol in our bodies "it's...it's over" she turned around and made the gesture to reach the bottle colliding with me, our faces were close and our eyes were locked in an accomplice look...