No Lies

#2| Lyds & Cammy

I took a deep breath, blinked and got up, swallowing harshly. Lydia got up after me and hugged me tight. I wasn't in the right state of mind when I clasped her waist lightly, still not able to digest what just happened. She wanted me to stay, but I couldn't. It hurt too much.

I wasn't angry. She was entitled to say no. I had no right to be angry. But the hurt was so prominent that I had to leave before I blew things up. So I left even though she didn't want me to. I left because it was the only way I could convince myself to wait and give her more time.

She was still up when I returned home. Her eyes were red and puffy, I hated making her cry. Her smile was still enough to make me stop in my tracks. When she pulled me down for a hug and apologised a million more times, I told her not to worry about it. She was the only one. I would wait forever for her.

But that didn't lessen the hurt.

Lydia was my life. She was everything to me. I had to leave before I said something to hurt her, because I knew I was close to. Her rejection from a year ago was the only thing playing in my mind. The hurt was coming back, the hurt I thought I was over, but I wasn't really.

Would she reject me again?

She could. She had the right to. That's what scared me. I handled it the first time, I didn't think I could handle it again. And I didn't want us to reach to that phase where we'd have to face those consequences. I would let her go. If she rejected me again, I wouldn't have the capacity to go on. That thought made my blood chill.

But I knew I was avoiding something I would have to face eventually. So I changed routes at the last moment and drove home. Things had been pretty edgy with her for the past couple of days. I was avoiding her, and she'd made it known to me countless times that she didn't appreciate it. My defence mechanism was kicking in pretty hard, and deep down I knew it wasn't fair to her.

The house was silent when I entered. But I knew she was here, her car was parked right outside. I took a deep breath before entering the bedroom. Then I stopped short.

Lydia was packing. The closet was open and half of her clothes had already disappeared. She didn't look at me, but by the way her body stiffened told me she knew I was here. "What is this?" My grip on the doorknob tightened. "What the fuck are you doing?"

"I'm moving out." She said, still not looking at me. "What's the point of living in the same house if I haven't seen you, hell, if I haven't heard your voice for six days?"

"So you'll just run away instead of talking to me?"

She gave a small chuckle, throwing away the piece of clothing and turning around to look at me. Her eyes were bloodshot red, and I felt a pang of guilt in my heart. "Talk to you? Now you wanna talk? Where were you all this time?"

"It doesn't matter-"

"Yes it does, Cameron. I left you fifty three text messages. You couldn't reply to a single one? Pardon me if I don't understand what happened to make you hate me so much."

I walked to her when she resumed packing, throwing away the clothes from her hand. When she didn't stop, I pushed her suitcase away. "You're not going anywhere."

She gritted her teeth in response, pushing me away, grabbing her suitcase back. I held on, not letting go. She pulled again, but I swatted her hand away. "Let go." She snapped.

"No." I held on stubbornly.

She pulled my wrist, making a frustrated sound at the back of her throat. "I swear I'll break your hand if you don't let go right now, Cameron."

"Break it." I said that only because I knew she would never do it.

"Fuck you." She was about to cry. I could see it. "What do you want? What the fuck do you want from me?"

"What do I want? I'm fucking tired, Lydia. I'm tired of pretending." I let go of the suitcase with a shove, the simmering anger now showing. "I'm tired of calling you my girlfriend. I'm sick of it. I want- I need you to marry me, damn it."

She faltered. Her mouth opened in a silent gasp, her fingers around my wrist loosening until there was only a brush of skin contact left. She looked shocked, I didn't know why. It wasn't like she didn't know I wanted to marry her.

"You don't know what it was like. When you said no, I felt a part of me die. It was the worst kind of torture you could have ever put me through. It's all coming back. I can't handle this. I can't. You either marry me or- or-" I couldn't end that sentence. My throat closed up before the words got out of my mouth.

"I thought you didn't want to get married now." She whispered, her face ghastly white as if she had seen a ghost. "I hurt you too bad. Cameron, I thought- damn it. Do you mean it?"

Why would she ask me that? How the hell would I joke about something that kept me up for days. "Jesus Christ, Lydia. I'm so fucking mad right now-"

It took me a while to realise she had thrown herself onto me. Her arms clutched my neck as if she was afraid I would disappear if she let go. Her legs coiled around my waist and I stumbled back, taking a second to hold on and comprehend what was going on.

"You're an idiot." She whispered. "Why would you not talk to me about this?"

"Because you rejected me last time-"

"I love you." Her palms cupped my face. "Don't ever do that to me. I thought you wanted to break up. I thought you-"

"Marry me. Please."

"Cameron," Her voice choked and faltered, and I let her smash her lips to mine. I froze for a second, mostly because I was suddenly reminded of the fact that I hadn't kissed her in an entire week. God, how did I survive so long? "I want to marry you-"

My nerves prickled. This couldn't be happening again. "But?"

"No buts. I want to marry you."

I looked at her, "No buts?"

Her lips turned up into a smile that took my breath away. "I love you, Cameron. Even a year ago, you were the only person I wanted to marry. I was scared. I'm not anymore."

I crushed her in my arms, replaying her words in my mind and setting her down a while later, reaching behind to my back pocket and taking out a small red coloured box. Her smile widened when she saw the ring. "It's the same one."

"I threw it away." I said without a second thought. "But it reminded me of you. So I took it back. I couldn't throw away anything that reminds me of you, Lyds."

There were tears in her eyes, yet this was probably the first time I didn't mind them. She was still beautiful and still going to be my wife. The ring slid down her finger smoothly, as if made for her. It was indeed. She hugged me again. I clutched her and decided to not let go for a long, long time.

It was a few minutes before she broke the silence. "Let's pray Nora doesn't kill you." Then she looked at me and grinned. "Don't worry, I won't let her."

~~

Dang I knew I should've made a book about them