notice • lashton

seven.

"Can I pee first?"

"No."

"I can smell the alcohol from here, Luke. The party barely even started, and you're already wasted?"

"Get away from the door, let me come in."

"How about YOU get away from the door, so I can slam it in your stupid face?"

"What were you doing, talking to her?"

"Who?"

"Kaykay."

"None of your business."

I took a long, deep breath.

Calm down, Luke. Calm down.

Don't go crazy.

"Ashton, please let me in."

"Go be with your girlfriend, Luke. It's her birthday."

"I didn't know you liked bimbos." I said, in reference to KayKay.

"Oh no, I love bimbos..." He paused.

He is about to hit a nerve, I knew it.

"They're great at sucking dick." He continued, followed by a laugh.

He knows what he is fucking doing, isn't he?!

"What? Pretty boy is going to get mad?" He teased, making me clench my fists.

"For fuck's sake!" I cursed angrily, pressing on the door hard enough to get him out of the way.

I rushed myself inside, locking the door behind me with caution as he looked at me in shock.

I took a step forward, frowning when he took a step back.

Is he... scared of me?

"Ashton-"

"Get away from me."

"What the hell?! I don't want to hurt you!"

"Then stay back, you're drunk."

I groaned, allowing my back to hit the door behind me.

"Here, are we good now?" I asked, this time a little calmer.

He gave me an up and down look. "Go on."

"You, um-" I stuttered. "Fuck, Ashton. Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why did you have to come into my life, and ruin everything?!" He gave me a puzzled look. "I was doing fine, perfect actually. Why did you have to show up and mess with my head?!"

"I came into your life for just one night, Luke. You were the one that kept pushing it further." He responded, making me go silent. "You could have forgotten all about me after Michael's party, you could've moved on. Why didn't you, is the real question?!"

"Because you make me feel things nobody else can!" I confessed, slamming my hand against the door. "Fuck! That's not fucking fair!"

We stared at each other for awhile, as I could feel the tears growing in my eyes. He looked at the ground when he heard me sniffing, massaging his forehead as he sighed.

"I'm sorry, Luke."

"Really, you are?!" I spat, unable to control my anger, probably because of the amount of alcohol I consumed. "All you showed me so far is that your heart is made of fucking brick! I thought it was just a shell you were putting on at first, but now I'm having doubts."

"I had good intention-"

"No! You just wanted to prove a fucking point! You're so fucking selfish-"

"I want you to be happy, you moron!" He shouted as my eyes widened. "I just wanted to snap you back to reality! Unlike you, I don't spend my time lying to the people I care about. Gosh, this is why I can't stand dishonest people, and you're honestly starting to give me the fucking ick!"

I fixed him, as he breathed longly after his monologue. I knew he was right, but all I could think about at the moment, was this...

"You... care about me?" I asked, resulting in some eye contact.

"Of course I care about you."

"Fucking show it, then!"

"That's how I show affection."

"Well, your ways are shit."

"You're not the best either! You ignore me the whole night, then get jealous when I talk to someone else?"

"You pissed me off the other day."

"Then why did you invite me here?! To show me the fresh hickeys on your neck?!"

I bit the inside of my cheeks, looking at him as I gently touched my bruises.

Shit, forgot about those.

I wanted to spite him, it felt right not to hide them at the time...

But now?

I feel like a fucking asshole.

"Once again, I was mad at you... so it just happened."

"You don't have to explain. What you and your girlfriend do is none of my business."

"I was craving you the whole fucking time, Ashton."

"Did you tell her that?" He asked, taking a few steps closer to me.

"No, did you tell Kaykay you're not interested?"

"Why would I-" He cut himself off. "Actually, you know what? I don't fucking give two shits if you believe that I care about you or not!"

"Ash-"

"You think it's easy?! To watch you ruin your life and knowing I can't do a damn thing about it?!"

"Ashton-"

"Well, it's not! Because, I know that no matter what I do, you'll always choose to be sad and depressed."

"A-"

"God! You're selfish, pathetic, a liar, a fucking mess, you're arrogant-"

I took a deep breath, deciding to use quite a different method to shut him up.

His eyes flew right open when I grabbed him by the wait, smashing my lips against his. He let himself enjoy it for a split second, before breaking off the kiss. He just stared at me, as our fingers intertwined.

"U-um-" I stuttered, feeling my face turning bright red. "I'm sorry. It was the only way to shut you up-"

I did not have time to finish my sentence, that he impulsively kissed me back. His lips are just so... soft, and extremely addictive.

Exactly like I visualized them to be.

And here it was, the feeling I've always wanted to feel. Forget the butterflies, there was fucking fireworks inside of me.

Is that it? My only chance at love?

What if I don't take it right now?

Will it be too late for me?

What if I had to choose?

What would it be?

My career... or him?