𝐄𝐦𝐩𝐭𝐲 || bsd x oc

𝟏𝟒. 𝐅𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐲 (𝐚𝐥𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠)

The past few days, I again came along with Osamu to the agency. Today, we were later than the previous times but from what I heard, that seemed to be pretty normal for him. He wore a carefree expression on his face as we left his apartment so I decided to do the same. Though I still had some worries occupying my head, I thought it would be best not to show them.

Osamu said I will soon be a member of the agency but when is soon? I started to realize that it was the right decision to stay with Osamu and the detectives from the agency. They are all so nice to me and sometimes I actually laughed with them. I really want to call it a real laugh. In the past, I listened to what Elise told me when I was still younger and laughed even if I'm not happy. There were only a few times I didn't force myself to smile, most of them were caused by Chuuya.

Thinking of him, I wonder how he is. He said everything would be fine but is it really? Is he fine? He was the last person I had contact with after leaving the mafia. Was he accused of aiding my escape? I was worried about what might have happened to him. I started to get those feelings more frequently after the incident with Atsushi. I didn't like them but at least I was able to understand what they meant. I felt bad for other people, regretted things I've done wrong and also began to develop a slight feeling of empathy.

Chuuya was the only person who was always there for me in the past 4 years so I was sure of the importance I held for him. I felt bad for leaving him behind alone. Would he have left with me if I just asked him?

No, he wouldn't. I know him and I also know how much pride he held, especially because of his position in the mafia. There was no way he would leave all that behind. I guess he wouldn't want to see Osamu again either.

He said he would be happy if I am. Considering that, joining the agency must be the right decision. I started to get real feelings, not the ones I wanted but eventually I would have to feel real happiness too.

I snapped out of my thoughts when I realized that blindly following Osamu didn't lead me to the agency but something that looked like a... cemetery?

Only the back of him was facing me so I couldn't get any hint on why we came here but from the way he was walking, it seemed like he had a plan on where to go. After passing a lot of gravestones, we arrived at one located more offside on a small hill under a tree. Osamu stopped in front of it and looked down to the grave. When I read who's name was engraved on the slightly moss-covered stone I knew the reason why we came here.

S. Oda

"Hey Odasaku."

My brother said as he kneeled down a bit.

"Look who I brought along with me."

I wasn't able to say a word nor move a single muscle of my body. The overwhelming amount of regret in me kept me from it.

I didn't even really know this man but now, after 4 years, I wish I would have. He was someone important to Osamu. He was the one who convinced him to leave the mafia with his dying words and he tried to convince me too. But what did I do? I just played his words down and didn't even think anything of it. How stupidly naive I was back then. I wonder if I would have been happy by now if I just listened to his kind advice. He only wanted the best for me without even knowing me either.

When I was able to break free from the inability to move, I kneeled down next to my brother, still unsure of what the right words to express my thoughts with were. There is nothing right to say anymore. Oda is dead. Whatever I would say is what I should have said when I still had the chance to.

"I'm sorry...

If I just had listened to you back then..."

Osamu just stayed quiet at what I said, probably engulfed in his own thoughts involving his only friend.