𝐄𝐦𝐩𝐭𝐲 || bsd x oc

𝟏𝟎. 𝐑𝐞𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐨𝐧

Present time

It's been 4 years now since Chuuya and I got partnered up and he told me how he feels about me. Back then, I wished for nothing more than to respond with the same affection he showed me. But he told me to be honest with him. So I wasn't able to tell him that I cared about him too.

But times have changed. I grew a lot, especially mentally. I still don't have any real feelings and live my life pretending but with Chuuya by my side, everything was so much easier all of a sudden. We continued living up to the name he and Osamu created, although I didn't have the same extraordinary strategic and anticipation skills like my brother. But the wide variety of abilities I could use compensated that.

Chuuya also taught me some morals so I at least had some orientation on what to do in situations that usually required empathy. One would normally think that someone with such a feared name around the mafia would act without any moral reconsidering but Chuuya was actually a pretty reasonable person. So I stopped acting as merciless as Osamu taught me to be in the past and adapted to his way of thinking.

What didn't stop was the constant teasing Chuuya still had to endure when he was with me. He always tells me how much he hates it but in reality, I think he actually enjoys it.

Another habit I couldn't get rid of was my walks. Recently, I didn't have enough time to do them but right now, I found myself strolling along the streets again.

I had a hunch that something would happen today so I took a bit of time for myself to calm down and observe the world around me.

Maybe it's really not so bad at the moment. I have people who care about me, Chuuya, who also wants to help me get emotions and I was also quite successful in the mafia. That's how a good life should be, right?

I may not be happy right now but soon I will. Chuuya told me to be positive about it and I want to believe it too. I kept my promise to him and haven't tried to harm myself in any way again. He seemed so happy ever since.

If I can't be happy, I at least want him to be happy.

But do I really mean it? Do I start to care about him too? It's actually hard to tell. The separation between my real self and the person I pretend to be every day already vanished a long time ago.

Maybe I'll just need some more time to get everything sorted out.

I stopped losing myself in my thoughts as I looked around me. There were all kinds of people here, children playing on playgrounds, stressed looking people, probably overstrained with their jobs, young couples, falling deeper in love with every look they exchange.

Love. I really want to feel that. People who are in love look so happy. I wonder if someday I will look at someone like that too.

"Still observant as always, huh?"

I winced as I heard the familiar voice I hadn't heard for years. I turned around but as soon as I saw the person in front of me, I was unable to move.

"Long time no see, Sora."

He said with a smile on his lips.

"Osamu...

You look so... different."

He doesn't wear his black coat anymore but what stands out even more than that is his way more cheerful expression. It looks more genuine. Nothing like the look he had back then and especially nothing like the one he had the last time we saw each other. I didn't completely comprehend why he would be so sad if a person died. He never cared about something like that. But after Chuuya taught me that people don't want to lose those they care about, I started to understand. I wouldn't want to lose Chuuya either. Would I be sad too if something happens to him?