𝐄𝐦𝐩𝐭𝐲 || bsd x oc

𝟖. 𝐅𝐚𝐥𝐥

4 years prior

It has already been a few days since Osamu vanished from the mafia. I was the last person who saw him and also the only one who knew the reason why he left.

I had enough time to sort out my thoughts since Rintarou refrained from giving me any missions but that still wasn't enough. On the outside, I might have looked and behaved as if everything was fine but on the inside, I was a complete mess. I've gotten rid of the emptiness inside of me only to have it replaced with doubts and confusion. This wasn't any better, in the contrary, I'd rather be numb again than being plagued by all those thoughts in my head. From that day on, there wasn't a single night in which I slept properly. The words from both Odasaku and Osamu kept me awake.

'If you had the chance to leave the mafia right now without any problems coming after you, would you take it and start all over again?'

Would I? That's what Osamu did.

'The day you will be able to find your happiness will come'

Would it help me to find my happiness?

'You don't understand, you'll never understand'

It probably won't, I've been trying for 3 years now. And I still don't understand anything. The only thing that distinguishes the present me from the pre-mafia me is that I now know how to pretend. But is this what I wanted?

'Sorry for everything I did in the past and everything I will do in the future'

Are you really sorry? Why would you even apologize? It's not like I am able to be mad at you. I wish I could. But I can't.

I wanted to feel something, but not like this. I wanted to be happy, not tired, not confused, not doubtful.

These days, I also started to avoid meeting my other colleges from the mafia. With nothing big to do, I went on some walks through the city again.

What was I doing that for? Was I hoping to meet Osamu by coincidence? No, he isn't that stupid to just walk freely in the streets considering that he is on the getaway from the port mafia.

When I heard my phone ring while strolling around the port, I opened my phone to see a new message from Chuuya.

He was the only person I at least talked a bit to, the past few days. He even told me that he was about to open his '89 wine and asked me if I wanted to drink it with him but I just responded that he should get some help with his alcohol addiction. In reality, I just wasn't in the mood to pretend to celebrate that my brother left.

The same evening, I saw him in one of the halls in the headquarters but he didn't look like he actually celebrated. Rather the other way around. But what did I expect? They worked side by side for 3 years, so although he always claimed how much he hates Osamu, he grew attached to him. Of course, he would feel betrayed if his partner just left him without a word. That's what normal human beings would do.

The message he sent said that there will be an executive meeting soon. I wouldn't have to come but he thinks it would help me get back to the normal life if I did. So I made my way back to the mafia, already building up the mask of emotions I always wore around other people.

As I arrived in the meeting room, i took the empty seat next to Chuuya, ready to play my role and use every opportunity to tease him.

"For convincing me to come here, you'll be the one that has to endure my presence now. Congratulations~."

I started the conversation with a smirk on my lips.

"Tsk, you just arrived and I already regret informing you about this."