[✓]My Fiancé is in Love with My Little Sister

Chapter 13

The Third Life and Thereafter – 5

“You have to properly understand that there is no replacement for you.” I remembered the words told by the marquis’s wife. For that reason, first, I started by raising a person capable of becoming my replacement. While affecting a casual manner, pretending nothing was wrong, while being easygoing, to my gentle little sister, to Silvia, I taught everything I had learnt so far by pretending it was a training in homemaking arts. It may have been harsh to do this to her who didn’t even have a fiancé. From a third person’s perspective, it may have seemed like I was bulling her, and indeed, that was what said the maids. However, when I told her it was necessary for the sake of her future, only Silvia slightly narrowed her eyes and soon started to laugh with a joy that came from the bottom of her heart.

“I, until today, I felt like I was already dead.”

My little sister looked at me with eyes that weren’t the slightest bit clouded. The words she assembled together in a breath sounds like they were carrying a feeling of exhaustion. There is nothing I can do about my weak body, at best all I can try to improve it is to take a daily stroll. Even if I want to chat a bit, because it will tire me out it’s prohibited. I’m being carefully and preciously protected, I was told that it was alright to not do anything so I must live, but on the other contrary it felt like I’m gradually dying, said Silvia while crying softly. And then she grasped my hand and told me “Thank you.” Yes, she said thank you. I, who replied there was no need for thanks and addressed a smile to Silvia, I wonder how long I can keep my pretended coolness. 

All the time, the principle that governed my conduct was my self-interest. I wanted to stand beside Soleil. I couldn’t bear to be looked with scorn and disdain by his eyes. I couldn’t bear to die alone and lonely, neither could I endure somebody putting all the blame on me, I was fed up of being always condemned at each end of my life. That’s why, to not let this happen, I tried to save Silvia. It was the same in all my lives. Even this time it was probably the same. It wasn’t for her sake. I was only persistency doing the things that must be done for my own sake and self-interest. However, it was the first time something like guilt shown through my feelings. As I watched my little sister’s cheeks flushed red with joy when she stared at me, I knew I was the one that made her shows such an expression, and I came to think this time was the first time I truly acted like an older sister.

This child will one day steal Soleil from me.

Because I’ve always known it, while on one hand I set the goal of saving her, in reality on the other hand, I wondered why must I save her and felt kind of conflicted. Unnoticed, this gave birth to a distance between my little sister and me, or rather, I behaved like I wanted to stay away from her. It wasn’t only my parents and our servants who said she must by locked up in her room because her body is frail. My parents and our entourage were surely worried about my little sister, but I was different. It was simply because I felt at ease thinking that as long as she stayed quietly in her room I wouldn’t have to meet her. I was always looking for a legitimate reason to stay away from my little sister.

If I must ponder about when I start to think like that, it’s probably at that tea party as expected. Until that moment, Silvia had been my cute, one and only little sister.

Tightly grasping my hand, Silvia said with a weakened voice she has been lonely all that time. While watching her listless profile, I vaguely felt that the time to face each other might have come. I knew that Silvia whose body was said to be too frail to bear children could get pregnant. In other words, like me she also had the qualifications to marry into a noble house. An earl house with a third court rank was not of a high standing but as a noble family its status couldn’t be criticized and more than anything Silvia ephemeral appearance was generally widely appreciated. Originally, the future of my little sister should have been secured. There should have been many men willing to be adopted into our family with pleasure, and even if Silvia were to leave the house the succession wouldn’t be that much of a problem. Since I married into the marquis house, in the worst case that Silvia would pass away due to her illness, it had been decided that our father’s younger brother who was quite apart in age would inherit the title. If Silvia had been healthy, then there would have been no element in her life she could have be dissatisfied with.