pink nights / sally face

library w sal

classes were picking up and not in a good way.

i mean, the material was interesting but god did i feel swamped. in the first three weeks i was assigned two group projects, a research paper, and countless homework assignments. i tried my best to stay on top of it all but i could definitely feel myself slowly becoming overwhelmed.

                                            sal
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me: hey... you took pysch 2300 right?

sal: yeah! why? what's up?

me: did you happen to work on a research paper for that class?

sal: LOL you need help, huh?

me: wellllll i need help and also, i just have no idea what topic to even choose!

sal: i could definitely help. u wanna meet up at 6?

me: omg yes! thank you soooo much

sal: no problem xD
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i set my phone down and looked at my clock, 4 pm. all my classes were over for the day. i tapped my nails against my desk. i tried to brain storm research topics so i didn't meet sal empty handed. i made no progress worthy of sharing.

i sighed and opened my window. the air was feeling cool now, it was finally september. i noticed dark clouds and checked my weather app. sure enough, it was supposed to rain tonight. i sighed a bigger sigh this time and wrote a reminder for myself about grabbing an umbrella before i left.

i sat back down at my desk. i loved being at college but sometimes i felt like a sims character. there were moments like these were i had no idea what to do with myself. i had two hours to fill before sal and i would meet to work on the project.

i felt antsy. what was the best way to pass the time? before i knew it, i was asleep.

the disservice i did to my future self by setting an alarm only twenty minutes before i had to meet sal was tremendous. i might even be understanding. i rolled out of bed, hair a mess and clothes all wrinkled. the damage was even worse once i looked in the mirror. my mascara had smudged under my eyes making me look as if i had started to cry but didn't.

i growled as i thrashed around my room, scrambling to look presentable.

ding! text from sal, "heyyy, grabbed a table for us at the library! :)"

ugh. worse than being on time, he was early.

i rubbed the mascara off as best as i could and smoothed my hair. my top priority was getting out of my wrinkled clothes. i could handle the makeup, it could pass for grunge. but slept in clothes? just embarrassing.

i frantically raided my closet, everything felt like the wrong choice. i caught myself before i spiraled out of control. sal wasn't rushing me. we were doing school work in the library. it was gonna rain. i needed to chill out.

i exhaled deeply and tried again. as if by magic, the perfect shirt was right in front of me. a cropped black t-shirt with a band graphic. chill and simple, comfortable enough for me to feel relaxed after being so wound up.

i was alone but i felt embarrassed. i was getting myself worked up over nothing. well, was it nothing or was it sal? either way, it was a humiliating low.