The way I found you

6| A Toast

She was right with that. The girl did wake up, wanting some milk and attention before going back to sleep. Just when Lana was on her way to her bed again, she could hear noises coming from downstairs. Since Lola wasn't barking, Lana was sure that it must be Sean, so she went into the living room, finding him on the couch with some bottles of different alcohol on the table. The smell of an old bar searched its way through her nostrils, letting her scrunch her face. 

"Sean?", Lana asked softly as she went slowly next to him, to sit on the couch. Sean didn't talk, didn't move, didn't show any reaction when she appeared in front of him. His eyes were even redder and swollen than this afternoon, showing nothing but pain. In his hands, Sean held a glass of wine, which obviously wasn't his first drink since he came back home. Tears on his cheek were shining in the light of some candles he put on, making the environment appear quite quiet and peaceful. Lana knew immediately that this wasn't just a normal glass of wine after a tough day. This was a goodbye, the last toast to a friend, mother, and also wife. 

Without a word, Lana took one of the glasses out of the cabinet and poured some of the wine for herself before turning to Sean. She took a moment to look down and spoke her prayers in her mind before looking up again, directly into Sean's eyes. 

"To Tanya?", Lana finally managed to say whilst raising her glass. Tears were streaming down her face, leaving a wet track on her cheek. 

"To Tanya.", Sean agreed, raising his glass as well until taking a sip and leaning onto Lana's shoulder. 

Both of them sat in silence, watching how the candles burned down and listening to the beat of their hearts before they fell asleep on the couch, holding on to each other and without letting go. 

Only a couple of hours later Sean's alarm went off, trying to wake the overtired couple. Lana was lying on her side, her feet down on the ground whilst Sean was on top of her, having an extremely uncomfortable position. Both of them growled when the unpleasant noise started to get louder and louder. 

"Turn it off!", Lana said with a grumpy voice, trying to reach a pillow to cover her ears. That's when she realized that she was not in her bed and didn't have a comfortable position at all. "Sean… get off me.", the actress mumbled whilst trying to push Sean away. 

"My back hurts too much for that.", he said and slowly attempted to sit up again. This was probably the worst sleep he had in ages. At least for the waking up part. 

"Is it already 6:30?? Gosh. Time flies.", Lana said before sitting up as well. It took her a while to adjust to the bright sunlight and the surroundings they were in. Her eyes faced the bottles of wine and other stuff when it hit her. All the memories of the previous hours came back and slapped her right in the face. Tanya was gone. 

Sean was sitting with her in silence for a few seconds, both of their eyes were looking into nothingness. Neither of them moved or spoke, the only thing they were able to hear was each other's breathing. 

"And I thought it was a nightmare.", Sean started, trying to pull himself together and not cry. "But no… it wasn't… it was just a bloody reality.", he sighed and took a bottle and their glasses to clean the table and vanish all the evidence of what had happened. The kids surely shouldn't see that. Lana tried to shake her thoughts off and helped Sean clean the living room before they would wake up the boys. 

"You should wake them up today… Leo was quite sad that he didn't have enough time with you yesterday. I can make some eggs in the meantime…", Lana offered and Sean agreed. It didn't take long to make the eggs with some Toast as a side. When she was a kid she loved to set everything up like a proper sandwich.