Reject ❀ c.h. [punk au]

56

My entire body felt numb.

It was like I was given endless amounts of morphine.

It was like I was unconscious again, my body limp and practically lifeless except for the slow rise and falls of my chest from breathing, and I couldn't feel a thing.

Except this time I was wide awake.

Aware of everything around me, along with the overwhelming sadness that swallowed me entirely.

My mother stood at the foot of my bed, my belongings in her arms as she stared at me sympathetically.

She thinks she understands how I'm feeling.

"Heartbreak is normal, honey. There will be plenty more boys in your life."

I could care less about the other boys I'll possibly meet in the future, because all I wanted was him and when I did think of my future, he was always in it.

Standing right by my side.

And how the hell is this normal?

It's normal to feel like my heart is about to explode out of my chest? It's normal to feel like I'm screaming at the top of my lungs and no one is even blinking? It's normal to feel like my entire world is crashing down around me and nobody seems to care because they're all off living their own peaceful lives?

This isn't normal.

"Are you ready, sweetie?"

I take a deep breath and turn my attention from the plain white walls over toward her, but I don't say anything.

"It'll do you some good to get out of this place." She says, flashing me a small smile.
"Sleep in your own bed, eat some real food."

I nod my head which causes her to smile wider at me.

I sit up and swing my legs over the side of the bed, taking my jacket from her hands and shrugging it on over my pajamas.

I slip into my moccasins that she brought from home and wave away the stray hairs in my face.

I suppose she's right about it being good to finally get out of the hospital but it doesn't mean that I'm leaving all of the pain behind.

Wherever I go, it will follow.

Just like a shadow.

"Tate's missed you so much, he'll be happy to see you." My mom says as we make our way down the hallway and toward the elevators.

"Hey, wait up!"

My mother and I both turn around once inside the elevator and I quickly stop the doors from shutting with my hand, just in time for Michael to join us in the doorway.

"I wanted to make sure I said goodbye." He says, running a hand through his messy black hair.

Leave it to Michael to dye his hair in a hospital bathroom.

"Who knows the next time I'll be out of here." He laughs slightly.

"You won't be going back to school?" My mother asks him.

Mike and I exchange small frowns before he turns back to my mom.

"I think I'm just gonna take a few weeks off. Just until I know Lana is alright."

She nods her head in understanding as the elevator doors attempt to close again but are stopped by Michael's boot.

"How are you feeling, Shay?" He asks in a quiet voice.