Coffee Shop | Elizabeth Olsen

62: Missed Calls

Yeah,
It hurts

Oh my baby, come to the coffee shop, we can talk

Lizzie and I need to talk

And you need a mummy hug, bug

I'll stop by... Can I come home tonight?

You don't have to ask, bug.

I love you

I love you, chin up buttercup

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I sit a little longer, I decline Scarlett's calls not wanting to talk, she had probably seen the articles too and I didn't want to talk about this with anyone but the women downstairs. It was just a kiss right... I can get over a kiss. I go into our bathroom and wash my face, I looked myself in the mirror and took a deep breath. "Don't cry," I tell myself firmly as my eyes watered. "Don't. Cry." I say slowly, I push all the air out of my lungs closing my eyes.

I go back downstairs and Lizzie is in a ball on the sofa. I sit down and didn't say anything what could I say, how was I meant to comfort her. I push my back against the arm of the sofa so I'm facing her bringing my legs pulled tight to my chest and resting my chin on my knees as I look at her. "Lizzie I want to talk...I'm staying at my mum's tonight." "No. Please." She sat up to look at me, she knew not to touch me I didn't want it. "I need to not be here, but I need to fix this so we both can go to sleep." "I don't want to fix it because you're going to leave me. I made a mistake. I regret it and I'm sorry I hurt you." "I understand that. But I'm hurt. You kissed him of all people him." "I wasn't thinking. I just got in my head." "Then call me. You could have called. I would have gone through it with you. This is what we're meant to do." "I know." "Then why didn't you." "Because I'm stupid." "You're not stupid." "Can't you just scream at me, get mad? Stop being nice." "Because you don't deserve that. I understand you made a mistake. It hurts yes but it doesn't warrant me to make you feel worse. It's not going to help anyone." "Leaving isn't going to help either." "I'm not leaving. I'm taking space. Something you promised me. I need to process this alone because I look at you like this and all I want to do is wrap you in my arms and tell you it's okay." "And you're going to take some space and you're going to leave me. Because I hurt you. I cheated on you with him." "It's a kiss. I can get over a mistake like a kiss. I just need time." "Is there someone that can come stay here with you?" "Yeah, my girlfriend." "I can't. I need to be away from you right now." "Don't say that." "Lizzie, listen to me." "No, listen to me. I'm sorry. Don't leave me." "I'm not leaving you. I will be back." "No, you won't."

She pulled my ankles and crawled onto my lap cupping my face, I fight her for a moment and then she wins. "Please." She kissed me and I kissed back and then the image of her and Robbie doing this flashed through my head and I pulled away. "Nell, please." I pecked her forehead. "we're going to be okay." She shakes her head. "No, don't leave! You can't leave." "I need you to let me." "No. No. No."

We spoke for three hours and she finally understood I needed to leave and she let me go. I got to the end of the drive. "Nell!" I turned around and she was jogging towards me, she held onto me tight. "Catch me?" "Always." I hesitated and she noticed holding me tighter. "Your ring." She pulled away and went to pull my dad's ring off her finger. "I'll be back." I hold her hand hoping it gives her some reassurance that I would be back, I wouldn't disappear on her and I was coming back if she kept this ring she'd know that. "I'm sorry." "I know." I didn't tell her it was okay because it wasn't okay what she did was very wrong and it hurt like hell, my heart literally ached at the sight. But I knew she was sorry so I acknowledged that. "Aubrey will be over after work." "Please stay." "I'll be home." "When?" "I don't know. I don't know." She rested her forehead on my shoulder and her shoulders shook. "But I will be back. Please believe me." "I didn't mean to hurt you. I was scared and upset and." I held her tight cutting her off.
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