𝐓𝐨𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐒𝐤𝐲: 𝐏𝐨𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐜 𝐓𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐬

Dreams pt.4

//Dream// I saw a dream where BTS came to Airport and this girl was chasing em- cute tho- lol and i was chasing her mwhahaa XD

//Reality//
I already knew Rima was a big af bts fan altho i didn't used to like bts at all back then instead i dislikes korean songs idky XD and that school crush of mine too was bts army.

And unexpectedly, this dream too sounds coming true coz i was seeking this girl to tell her about my dreams I've been seeing idky etc etc. And eventually 1 year later from this dream, i myself ended up becoming a bts army- not coz she was, but by myself - idk how- it was very unexpected to me, i started with that DNA song one random day and got addicted to it in an instant. It was my first time i had liked a kpop song- and i was obsessed with BTS since then and eventually into the fandom-

Now back to past,

So in short, I'm not gonna write everything but tell a summary, as you already read the poems in this book you will know about my feelings and reasons and stuffs especially the Ashes one. So i seeked this school crush of mine in her social medias just in worry of her and thinking she might be my dream girl. I was really innocent there, and not interested to stalk someone but the fact she always ignored me and we were strangers there was no hope of anything there. But at least i wanted to know her more so i just used to see her old posts and all coz yk when u love someone you're interested to know everything about em, my intentions were just to adorably know her as much as i can so i was always seeing her new updates and posts etc, and eventually even in my loneliness i started being very happy in this love and my life was changed and i started being so much more happy and my gaming addiction, depression etc went, so for all this as well i thought of showing her my gratitude by writing something for her. Earlier i thought of making a storybook but then disposed the idea and decided to write poems for her even tho i never been into writing English poems before i had some experience in shayeri writing. So i decided to surprise her on her next birthday 50 days later from then. I started doing a countdown even in my statuses and never told anyone what was it for XD it was actually 50 days to go, 49 days to go... For her bday actually lol. It was on 25Th January, i texted her stuffs and sent her the poem book i wrote for her (some of the poems are now shifted to Fragments of poetry, the nature ones and about life etc ) and some poems i wrote just for helping her or motivating- coz she seemed to be pretty sad and burdened by something always, from her posts etc as well i felt she's very tired of trusting ppl and etc etc. And i also wrote poems on those dreams i saw of her. And some artwork i made in my school diary too and a lil bit cutting of paper to make it look better and edits written "Happy Birthday (Her name) " XD

I was the kind of person who can never stop showing gratitude if someone helps me so much even if it happened without much interaction but those dream love story etc helped me from my depression and stress a lot when i used to be bullied by school, insulted and guilt tripped by parents and tuitions,and was totally alone it helped me as an escape from my painful tradegic life ;-;

I sent her my poem book "Dedicated to U, My crazy poetry" and waited sometime, there was a great trouble with uploading it that day coz of net issues and i was legit crying for an hour infront of some gods murtis at home praying taht it gets fine soon as i was worried what if i never get to tell her these things and i didn't had a backup of my poems so- ;-;
Fortunately it got published around 1 am of that day. And soon i went to sleep coz i had an exam that morning and i didn't even study anything in stress and tension. And after coming home from school ( we were in 12th those days)
I was worried asf what will happen when she sees all this, i was so nervous somehow i gathered my strength to open wattpad and saw she was online at late night that day and replied Thank you, I'm grateful to you and voted 3 of out of the 25 poems i wrote for her.

I was pretty sure nothing can even happen due to the fact she didn't said anything else nor talked about those things which were concerning me.

I texted her again but she didn't reply me for long.

So after a few days i made an alt account here (fake profile) to just know whether she's ignoring me or not. I made it just to text her once and find out if she's ignoring just me or offline for real. She did reply me there and didn't to me in my main acc for long so i knew she was ignoring me. So i didn't wanted to bother her anymore i was very heartbroken that even after all this... I'm not the person who wants to make someone feel that I'm desp hoe. So i deleted my app and never texted her again.

On 7Th Feb, a big unexpected shit happened again. Rima texted me in a tauntful manner that someone's bothering with my crush. She sent in status screenshots of my crush's whatsapp status which kinda broke me too badly-

She was legit trolling me with lots of abuses and wrong blames. She mistook my intentions a lot and was considering me as a fake desp person when i never even asked her for anything and went away yet after so long she did this trolling on me and claimed that I've harmed her privacy by coming to wattpad and reading her books-

She herself sent link of her wattpad book openly on her instagram account. Still she says that now-

She wrote like around 7 text statuses full of toxic abusings and blames on me, she not only did that shit, but also she hated on me for my personal interests, i never hated her for her interests but she did coz i like a movie like Baahubali 2 she was calling me toxic coz i watched such a south indian movie - man u guys already know it's one of the biggest and most epic movie made in india which is famed around the world yk already. And she even wrote slangs and shamed me for being myself coz she was hating on my personal fandoms - i- wtf-

I've never seen someone more toxic than her before and i went to a great panic that time. I texted Rima coz ahe already knew what kinda person im but she wasn't supporting me, instead she ignored everything i texted her. I downloaded wattpad and texted my crush urjo instantly trying to make her understand whatever my intention were but she left me numb and speechless with her angry and rude messages she wasn't understanding anything and went on rudely saying anything to me... i was not even saying anything rude back and trying to make her understand my intentions without blaming her, she didn't wanted me to bother with her or her friend anymore, So i decided to never contact this hoe crush and promised her I'll never contact her again.

Rima never replied me anything too ever after that thing, the dream i posted in prev parts came true as i had an argument with my crush and felt she's very toxic and bad- and rima was not replying me anything.

This was unexpected and left a giant crack on my feelings and trust- neither was there anyone to help me get a justice here, i was hated a lot by her for no reason just coz of her own toxic immature "assumptions"-

I deleted my twitter and instagram account and also deactivated my wp acc and fb after this, had a breakdown.

#dreams: I saw some dream where me and she were playing a chess like game called Game of Deaths and we both were having armies destroying each other and there was a third person who was actually making us do this for own benefit

In another dream i saw about something like a past life where we both were battling each other and i was killed by her and a third person killed her. I was reincarnated in the next life, i saw her looking at me in school and i too felt weird. She seemed familiar. But she was a jerk and bullied me. Later on i saw myself chasing her somewhere in a hilly place and at the end she slipped down and almost fell from the cliff but still i held her hand before she fell, she was hanging from the cliff relied on my hand but just then i felt a third person was behind me- i don't remember the dream more

In another dream i saw her telling me that she's not wanna do this to me but she's forced to because of a curse on us given by some witch. And to lift this curse we need to kill ourselves and reincarnate.

Idk why i was seeing such weird dreams..

Later on i was just using wattpad coz some ppl here didn't wanted me to leave back then and soon a plot twist happened with me which i never expected to-

It was a girl named Alisha here (i nicknamed her as Ishu) and she was really sus person, and was my first actual wattpad friend but there was something hidden behind this name ~

[ To be continued → ]