chapter three

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INTO THE STARS
———
MALACHI

My first soccer win of the season. I cannot believe my team pulled through. And at one of the best times, not only did I play one of the best games in my life, my Uncle Troy and Auntie Nona were there to witness it.

All I want to do is tell the entire world about the best night of my life.

The moon shines brightly against my skin through the car window, casting a mysterious glow on the dewy grass as it passes in a blur. The oil street lamps lining my street in an orderly manner give off an orange tinge against the concrete, my whereabouts becoming more recognisable.

The car slows before finally stopping altogether. I look at the window facing away from the road, recognising the house I have lived in my whole life. The living roomwhich is at the front of the houseseems to be dark, with no light pouring through the bay window.

That's odd.

"Bye Troy! Bye Nona!" I say cheerfully, my tone evoking every ounce of my joy from the events tonight. I jump out of their car, water soaking through the thin material of my worn-out shoes. Both of them mutter their goodbyes to me as I wave goodbye to them with a big smile.

Their car doesn't move after I close the door or as I skip up the driveway. It only attempts to move when I approach the front door safely, opening it and bidding them one last goodbye with a cheeky grin.

I always struggle with opening the front door to my home. To get it open, there is a special way to twist it to the left and at just the right angle, you twist it back to the right for the door to even budge open. I do just that, twist it to the left by a smidge and back to the right and, sure enough, the door gives way.

The house is pitch black and almost silent if not for the wind whistling through the open windows, blowing the curtains back and forth. My hand follows the wall, towards where I know the closest light switch is, feeling up and down until I finally reach it.

The first one goes on with a quiet click, lighting the dining room directly behind the living room. The next one goes on with the same click and the living room erupts in light. At first glance, all seems normal, but when I take one step forward, bile rises in my throat, tears pricking at my eyes like little needles.

Blood... Lots of blood... Everywhere...

Slamming my eyes shut and running up the stairs to my bedroom, I try to rid the image from my head, my body violently shaking, my hands patting down every surface, searching for any way to contact someone.

・ ・ ・

My body shakes awake abruptly, sitting upright in bed. I need to catch my breath. Gripping my chest, it heaves up and down unevenly as I require a steady breath. Hot tears stream down my face involuntarily. I feel disgusting and as a drip of sweat travels down my spine, reality hits.

It's not real...

It is just the demons your mind has created...

Yet another reminder that I am alive. I do feel things. And I am not just a robot living its life on autopilot.

I close my eyes to escape my surroundings and prep myself for the moment before I open my eyes again. The pace at which my chest rises and falls at a regular pace and the tears that were burning my cheeks as they rolled down have subsided.

Shudders wrack through my body and I feel like I am right back at the place it all started, trapped inside my eleven-year-old self's body, witnessing a scene that would forever change his life. It feels like just like yesterday, but also an eternity away at the same time.

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