Boris x reader (weird)

Annoying the shoe

Maybe is something we're to happen that would leave spongebobs mouth dry then he would shut up, the stupid sponge is so loud and OBNOXIOUS!!

He screams and shouts like so judgemental!!

"You dammed witch!"  He would say.

"Mate, just shut up!! I wouldn't be such Bitch if you could get it up.."

He seems to think he's royal, he ran around screaming "OFF WITH HER HEAD" like bro-

But who's gonna obey that? The only one who would try to please this sponge with ease, is the shoe man who sulks in the bottom of the basement..

He heard the words with that he meant to just and rush over, he tripped on a log and new it was over.

Cause I placed the log there, he couldn't do much.

He shouted for Boris, my one and only.

But y'know what? I just laughed cause Boris wouldn't help the shoe man even if he wanted to.

I hate the shoe man, but not as much as I hate spongebobs musty dusty crusty ass cheeks! And his STD filled clarinet..

So stinky..

With this, he cried, not him but the shoe man. I laughed in his face and twerked in the corner.

The room is dark and damp and dim, this is because the shoe man lives in sin.

He tries to sell shoes but eats them instead, he tricks all the children to building him sheds, so he can manipulate the rats to make him his shoes.

The ones who try to buy them off this guy becomes his slaves, the weeping women is what they are called, he sells girl shoes for girls and never for boys, because the shoe man is gay and knows what will happen if a boy buys his shoes..

__________

Boris waddled into the kitchen and I followed him, sniffing his dusty crusty musty particles as he went.

He wanted food so we got Gordon Ramsey to make some for us. He made extra though..

I got the extra food in the grasps of my cheeks, waddled down to the basement where shoe man was shackled.

And i tweaking in his face, not to close though, he couldn't reach the food.

But y'know what? I ain't a monster, I let a potato slip out and he gobbled it all up, no warnings!

Don't get me wrong, we do feed him, he even has him own room in the basement! A whole kingsized bed and everything..

Truth is, shoe man loves every second of this. He's somewhat of a weirdo.

But he was being punished for eating a guys ass. Both literally and not. And this meant he had to be punished my guy!

______

A couple days passed and he was aloud back in him room of doom! He was happy I GUESS but I felt like annoying him with different things.

Just as I was creating a plan in my head. Boris snuck up behind me and cradled my hand.

I turned to him.

"Y/N, my little snuckle mup didgeridoo fedora lovin yellow orange juice fairy cake!! I've missed u so much, I've been away from u for a whole hour!! Can u believe it? We've never been apart for that long before and-"

I cut him off. I kissed his chin and he got sent a parcel of parchment paper.

Such a romantic moment!!

However, of course shoe man had to ruin the moment!!

He snuck up behind me and slapped my tender a— and grabbed Boris's balls!! Those weren't his to grab!!

I punched him in the face and ran with Boris to a meadow filled with lactating cows. Maybe this could be our honeymoon for when we get married at age 552!

After a while we went home again and I snuck into shoe mans room when he was in his bath car. I left his room filled with sausage rolls.

He HATES sausage rolls.

Heheheheheheheheh 😏😫♌️😂😂✨💅💅✨✨✨😆😆😆☺️🥲🥲😁😁🤪🤪🤪🥵🥵🥵🤭🤭🥱🥱🤭👹😈😈😈💅💅✨✨✨

He got out and went to his room all nakey, but had to manoeuvre around the rolls of sausage!

He screamed a big "ARRERGGHHH!!" And I laughed and ran to boris's room to hide with him under his covers.

He cuddled a whale for a bit and went to sleep on top of the house!

Snore snore yummy Boris loud sleeping time brooooo mmm