Boris x reader (weird)

Its been a while..

A few weeks have passed now, I've been living here with Boris, Donald and squidwards blue  bum nugget named Melvin. Things were going great I suppose. Though Donald could be a bit annoying at times..

We were all just chilling in the living room, watching video montages of me stealing from Tesco. Honestly it was some of my best work.
Boris and Donald always praised me for that, because, as I said to them: UwU

After a little while of watching, laughing and feeding each other baby carrots, I heard a noise from Boris's room.. Everyone's here tho.. well, actually Melvin isn't here.. I thought he went to the park with Dora but I guess he came back? What's he doing in Boris's room?

I got up and went to investigate, as I got closer I could hear little gasps and sniffs. Bit weird Melvin, not gonna lie. But I ain't here to judge.

Expecting Melvin I swung the door open, which left him a little startled.

"Mel— OH WHAT THE FUCK" I yelled.

Spongebob was RUMMAGING through Boris's room! He had a handful on clothes, he was sniffing them and he even dressed his oily, greasy, stanky, fish fungus-y clarinet in Boris's radish bra!

Boris doesn't wear the bra.

It's only to collect radishes.

I lunged at him, ain't no manky sponge gonna steal my Boris's clothes. He needs them to hide his luscious thighs and bouncy body! Though sometimes me and Donald wish he would forget about the clothes for one day..

But spongebob doesn't get to enjoy that pleasurable image!! I've only just got used to Donald, I ain't allowing another wannabe into this relationship!!

"What the actual stud muffin are you doing here Bob?! I told you to leave and a couple weeks later u decide it's a good idea to break in through Boris's window?! AND STEAL HIS STAINED MOIST CLOTHES?!" this was unacceptable.

He giggled. "Nyehehehehe oh doll you are too funny! Boris's great aunts uncles old pet goldfish's cat with the blind eye and blue tongue had a cousin, and he said I could be here!"

Well... I can't argue with that.. he did get permission..

"Fine..." i mumble.. "I SUPPOSE you can stay.. for a little while.."

He grinned that awful grin, I hate it when he does that.. it always sends shivers down my spine.. but whatever, this evil sponge was invited so.. I'll just have to grit my teeth with wiggling feathers for now and get on with it..

He walked past me and slapped my cheeks with his mouldy, stanky, fishy, ugly, wobbly, bobbly big and bumpy, sh-t covered clarinet.

I used to love it when he did that but honestly.. he's kinda cringe.. he's only 93 but damn.. still cringe.

Putting up with him was going to be torture..